Patrick O’Bernstein’s Covid Escape Day

Chapter One

No one to talk to and stuck in his own voluntary isolation. Patrick O’Bernstein private detective had nothing to do. There was no work pending, no unfinished jobs and no new money coming in. It was a bit difficult to follow someone through the streets of Dublin in these COVID day’s or keep somebody under surveillance because the streets and roads were almost empty. There was nowhere to hide or be unobserved to follow someone in a car was impossible. To make life even more impracticable no one was allowed to venture more than two miles from their home without a very good and valid reason. Patrick O’Bernstein was going mad

This 21^st century plague was driving him up the wall.  There was nothing left for him to do he just had to leave Dublin even if it was only for a day. So Patrick decided that he was going to go to Dalkey for the day and if there was time then he could would visit Sandycove on the way home and pick up a much needed fee owed to him. Patrick was owed a Patrick a day off and he was going to take it.

After the by-election adventure he needed to get away from the gangsters, the dodgy politicians, the bent policeman, the panic buyers and other debt collectors like his brother Danny   

He chose Dalkey for his little excursion because it was close to Dublin and a seaside resort southeast of the city, and close to Dún Laoghaire but still in the County of Dublin . Dalkey was an active port during the middle ages and according to John Clyn (c.1286–c.1349), it was one of the ports through which another plague entered Ireland in the mid-14th century. In modern times, Dalkey is a seaside suburb that attracts some tourist visitors. Dalkey was also a town where he knew there was a small private Beach Bar/ B&B come Supermarket in Coliemore.  

Heyden’s Bar was such a great concept bar for the weary traveler or your local drunken celebrity. You just sat there at the bar waited at the bar to get served you then handed over your shopping list to Martin Hayden or one of his staff. The list was plucked while you waited, Hayden’s also did an online Click and Collect service

The Hayden family had known the O’Bernstein family since before the first famine and we were always welcome

Patrick’s first challenge was how to get there. He was still bereft of a set of wheels he still had his motorbike but Patrick didn’t want to ride all that way.  It was ok riding through Dublin in fact Patrick loved the look on motorist’s faces as he use to swerve around them in traffic. But this would mean taking Old Faithfull outside the city and onto some main roads. There was a good chance of being stopped on the way by of Dublin’s finest

It would also mean that he couldn’t drink and there was no point   having a day out without having a pint. This just wasn’t Patrick’s way. Danny his brother, on the other hand was different. He could spend two weeks in Spain on a jolly and not touch a drop; he’d seen him do it. Today Patrick needed a pint somewhere; He didn’t need to get drunk just a pint or two and some company

He considered all my options there was the bus number 8. This was his best and cheapest option but he discovered that this bus route had ceased in November 2016.

Patrick’s next option was to take a bus to Dún Laoghaire and then get another bus from there to Dalkey. This wasn’t a good plan changing busses and waiting around bus stations because he knew that the longer he stayed out in the open the more likely it was that he’d get picked up or questioned by the rozzers . The next and last option was The Dart Tara Street to Dalkey, no problem and thirty six minutes later Patrick would be in Dalkey and Heyden’s was just a ten minute walk from the station. Patrick now had thirty minutes to get to Tara Street so it was time to pull his figure out and get a move on. He got to the Station in plenty of time with just had time for a quick smoke before walking over to the platform.  

Patrick would get served with a welcoming smile if he presented Martin Hayden with his little shopping list.   These two families The O’Bernstein’s and The Hayden’s were family Patrick didn’t want to buy much from the supermarket but he needed a reason to be in the building if a policeman walked in. The train journey was quiet and uneventful the train was nearly empty Patrick came into the station and walked down to Hayden’s Bar. He soon arrived as he opened the door he saw a customer presenting Martin the Younger with what looked like a long complicated shopping list.

Every customer expected to receive every item on their list with no exceptions or they would be very disappointed. There was a full available stock list for everyone to read on the Hayden’s website but that always seemed to be ignored. These were trying times and changing times. People today seemed to have less and less consideration for one another. Patrick remembered hearing those words from the Older Martin Hayden many times during the years

Patrick smiled at Martin Junior he gave him a wave and then walked into the bar area. There was no one serving behind the bar so he poured himself a drink while holding a ten euro note up in the air in case someone came in 

Patrick then took his drink and walked out to the Smokers Room. He thought it best to take his drink outside in order to show any passing Garda that Hayden’s Bar and Supermarket was only selling drinks as a takeaway option. Patrick propped the outside door open with a chair and stood in the doorway this meant that he and young Martin could actually and legally pass the time of day and talk. When Martin was finished serving his customer he came out to the bar and he was more than a little curious as to why his old family friend could or would find his way, all the way, out to Dalkey during a pandemic lockdown.

“What brings you out here Patrick? Are you lost? “

“No”

 Replied Patrick

“I just needed a bit of time outside the City and I like it around here. You’re not too far from Dublin and we’ve got family living in Sandycove I could always pay them a visit on my way home. Anyway how are things with you? I imagine business is booming since this crisis began I could just see in my mind’s eye you and your family rubbing your hands together as all that money came s rolling in due to the crisis”

Martin seemed a little taken aback by Patrick’s tone and reply. It was true that their little bar and supermarket had been inundated with customers and the families small separate travel agency company had received countless enquiries and bookings.

But The Hayden’s were a local family that lived in the area and didn’t want to see it invaded by thousands of city dwellers trying to trying to isolate themselves.  

Patrick spoke again

“You must be making a fortune from all these people. I’ve seen caravans, camping vans and it’s still warm enough at this time of year to go camping we did it as kids with the scouts, you remember?”

Martin agreed that he was indeed making money but at what cost? He explained how his little shop catered for about a hundred customers a day. He had enough stock at the shop or nearby to cater for all his regular customers and now he couldn’t supply them due to bulk buying from strangers to the area.

Martin explained that because he was a small business with a usually modest turnover that he had to negotiate special deals with his suppliers concerning credit, credit limits bulk buying of certain items payment schedules and delivery times.

In order to get a higher discount on his purchases he had to agree on slower and less frequent delivery times. Another stipulation was a fixed credit limit this was to allow him to have favourable payment terms and up to three months credit. If his order was for more than his credit limit allowed then the supply firm would insist on a pro former invoice being paid. This would mean his firm having to pay for the full order in advance before it could be delivered.  Martins point was that this extra although welcome short term customer increase could ruin his business in the long run, especially as so many of his customers were beginning to independently shop online Patrick interrupted his old friend’s ranting for a moment because he wanted to know how the rest of the family was. I knew that his parents, like mine had seen younger fitter days and the news had been going on about all the elderly folk being struck down by the virus.

“How’s your Ma and Da? “

He asked

“It must be five years since I’ve seen either of them “

Martins answer shocked Patrick to the core. It wasn’t just what he said; it was more the total lack of any kind of emotion in his face, voice or body language.

“Ma and Da have both passed away”

Patrick was almost sorry that he had asked but he was glad that he had been told. Ma and Da Hayden were really dear to Patrick and he felt that he needed to in some way pay his respects. Patrick asked what he assumed were the usual questions however the answers Patrick received were not quite what he had expected. There were the usual questions like when had they died and where they were buried. Patrick wondered why his parents hadn’t told hadn’t told him or even if they knew Patrick offered to call his Ma and Da to give them the bad news. Martin’s answers to these   questions stopped Patrick in his tracks

“I’m glad that you are here Patrick because a man with your experience and connections could probably help me through this difficult time”

Martin continued talking and as he did Patrick could feel his mouth opening wider and wider and his jaw dropping as Martin told his story. There were reasons why no one outside this shop knew that both Mr. and Mrs. Hayden had died so suddenly and together.  It turned out that it wasn’t the virus that took mammy Hayden but natural causes some three months ago. Edith Hayden had for many years suffered from emphysema a crippling and often fatal lung condition. She was on prescribed medicine for her condition and the district nurse would come and visit her every three months but if there was a problem then Martin or his father should call an ambulance. Because of the Coronavirus non urgent or critical patients like Ma Hayden were contacted via Skype for consultations again every three months. It had just been three months since Mrs. H’s last consultation. Edith’s medicine was ordered online and picked up from the chemist. Martin supposed that because the family hadn’t contacted the surgery or the district nurse that her condition was stable. But his died suddenly three months ago. Patrick was about to say something and Martin stopped him, it seemed that now he was able to get all this off his chest that there was no stopping him. Martin’s dad would not accept that his wife had left him he always thought that he would be the first to go or that they would die together. Martin senior was not a young man and he suffered from chronic asthma so Martin supposed that it was the Coronavirus that took him a month ago. Martin stopped talking for a moment to take a breath and then broke down and cried. Patrick gave him a manly hug and waited patiently until he had composed himself. It was then there came the weird part of the story Patrick asked Martin as delicately as I could

“Where are they buried?”

Patrick knew that the family owned a lot of land around the area, some of it was rented out to local farmers and companies, some was set aside for campers and they had a couple of fields that they rented out for grazing. This meant that there were many places around where the couple could be happily laid to rest but Patrick wasn’t ready for Martin’s answer.

“They’re both downstairs in the freezer!  Da said that he didn’t want announce Ma’s death when she died. He told me that if he told people that Edith was dead officially then he would lose her forever. He wanted to wait just a few weeks. He would go down to the cellar to visit her every day to pay his respects and have a chat”

Patrick opened his mouth to speak but he couldn’t form any words let alone a full sentence he just let Martin carry on talking.

“I knew that eventually Da would come around and accept Ma’s death. My plan was to take Mammy out of the freezer, thaw her out, dry her off, put her upstairs and then ring for Dr Walker. If you give that man a thank you, bottle of Jameson’s then he’ll sign anything”

Martin paused for a moment to check Patrick’s reactions but he still couldn’t speak so Martin continued unabated

“Old Dr Walker has not been very well lately. No! It’s not the virus; he’s just getting on a bit. He has a young locum who stands in for him sometimes but nobody likes him. He’s a bit too sure of himself and I know he wouldn’t just sign the certificate, so we were hanging on until Dr Walker was feeling more himself again. Everything was well in hand and then Da ups and dies on me”

Patrick then felt the urge to and more importantly the ability to speak again and he felt compelled to ask

“Where is your Da Martin?”

“He’s downstairs lying next to Mammy, It’s a big chest freezer and they’re together again “

With that last sentence Martin smiled and a tear came to his eyes. Patrick had come to Dalkey for a break He’d dodged the gendarmes and had escaped from fortress Dublin and he was now in a shop filled with childhood memories and two dead bodies in the cellar. A familiar sound flooded the room; it was the buzzer that went off every time someone wanted to be let into the shop if the door was locked. Martin turned away from Patrick and greeted his new customer, no more words were exchanged because the masked woman just put her list down on the counter and left. Patrick felt for a brief moment that he was staring in The Lone Ranger TV program and he cried out in an English accent

“Who was that masked man? “

Martin replied, a little confused

“It was a woman Patrick; she was a customer with a shopping list”

Patrick didn’t bother trying to explain his little joke. Everything had gone a little flat after Martian’s reply.

Everyone who lived in the area knew that Mrs. Hayden wasn’t in the best of health and that she was very often confined to her bed. Martins Da could still charm the pants off any woman or man who came through that door. He would beguile, with his charm and wit, every inquisitive woman who asked after his wife’s health and curious men were easily distracted by tall tales of fishing or intrigue concerning the Irish Underground Movement. For three months no one had seen or spoken to Old Mrs. Hayden but nobody was concerned because she although infirmed was in the best place cared for and loved by her family. People didn’t stay in the shop long enough t o get suspicious, they just really wanted to place their orders and go home again. The weekenders didn’t know or care about anyone; they just drove from the city to their country cottages or flats with their cars usually with the essentials that they had brought from home. The celebrities just sent one of the staff and the summer campers didn’t know The Hayden’s from Adam. To everyone Old Mr. and Mrs. Hayden ran the local bar come supermarket and their son Martin helped out and would one day he would inherit the lot.

Putting aside the obvious charges for one moment Martin’s biggest problem or dilemma was the two frozen bodies namely , his parents laying at peace in his large chest freezer downstairs in the cellar. This was not Patrick’s problem but like so many other times in the past he felt obliged to try and help. He didn’t know how they were going to solve this conundrum but “where there’s a will there is almost always a way”

Patrick was going to telephone Big Bro Danny or his dad for help but then thought No! This was a predicament that he and Martin would try to get themselves out of. There was the option call the police and confess all and contact Social services and tell them everything, Ma and Da Hayden did die of natural causes. There was no foul play, they just died and a simple autopsy would prove that. This could result in Martin being held on remand while the autopsies were being carried out but not for long and everything would hopefully turn out alright in the end

 In these special and troubled times the medical profession was a little busy trying to save people and a little land like Ireland doesn’t have that many coroners. This would mean that Martin could be held on remand for quite some time as Mr. and Mrs. Hayden joined the queue.  

Patrick also feared that the confession option could get a bit messy and the local press would find out. It’s probable that a supermarket could get away with headlines concerning vermin or insect infestation but two bodies in a freezer might put some people off buying their Fish fingers from Hayden’s.

Patrick was at a loss, he just didn’t have any idea how to help Martin. Martin himself, didn’t seem to care he was just writing on his IPad and checking his emails. It did cross Patrick’s mind however that

“This was not actually my problem”

He could just walk away, go outside and double back himself to Dublin, probably dodging the same roozers as he did on my way there. One problem might that he hadn’t been here long enough for a Shift change. But that might not have been a problem because as far as he was aware no one spotted him on his way to Dalkey

“Its ok officer I’m returning home after a job! I have been isolating and as you can see I’m wearing a mask and I have my pocket sanitizer, see! “

Patrick pressed the pause button on that thought for a moment and he asked Martin what he was doing? Martin looked up from his from his IPad put down his phone and explained

“These days Patrick I spend nearly my whole day trying to make things look and seem normal. Da was a great one for the Internet and modern telecommunication. He actually embraced it long before I did Da was always trying to get Ma to open a Facebook account and me. He was a fiend for Facebook and he has so many friends.  I don’t know who half of them they are, but he gets messages and likes all the time and I keep answering people in order  to keep him alive. Da was too old and stupid to remember all his codes so he gave them to me to remember. I have access to his email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts, so I keep him active and swearing online”

Patrick didn’t have the heart to just up and leave Martin in this position, Marin hadn’t asked directly for his help but Patrick felt that he needed some. But Patrick didn’t honestly know how he was going to help his childhood friend. Patrick reflected to himself and a thought occurred that if he just kept quiet for a while and sat there in contemplation that a plausible solution would come to him.Martin left Patrick for a little while to go to the office; there were a couple of shopping orders he had to deal with. He could check his computer stock lists to see what he had downstairs or in one of the outside lock-ups and the rest he would buy online from the wholesalers. If an order was placed with the wholesalers before 1pm then he was almost guaranteed to receive it by nine o’clock the next day. Even in these times of a pandemic the wheels of commerce still kept turning.

In a flash or more like slow glow Patrick hatched a plan! It was a simple plan but Patrick thought to himself sometimes simple plans are the best. Blitzkrieg, The Berlin Wall, Car Seatbelts, the wheel. They were all simple solutions to fulfill man’s aspirations.

So Patrick’s plan, given the unusual circumstances that we the good people Ireland found ourselves in, should work. He went to go and find Martin and to outline his plan. Martin was in the office on Facebook writing a comment about a funny story, one of Da’s friends had posted. Martin’s comment was short and followed by a group of smileys. Patrick stood up next to his chair for a moment whilst he shut down the computer. There was a dark cloud of sadness that descended over his face as the computer’s screen went dark

“You’ll be wanting me Patrick”

Said Martin in a low, slow monosyllabic voice

“Yes “

He answered excitedly

“I think I might have a plan that will get you out of this predicament”

Martin stood up and faced Patrick he looked him straight in the eyes and said

“So have I “

Patrick stood facing him and waited to hear Martin’s solution. Martin looked down for a moment and then tilted his head up again to say

“I’m going to call the police, ambulance, our doctor and then confess everything. The social might want to prosecute but if I can give them a good enough explanation then they might be satisfied just to get their money back for Ma’s pension we received for these last three months despite her being dead. The police will probably want to investigate but Ma and Da did die naturally so the most they can charge me with is for not reporting a Death. I will probably get a fine and then I might have to borrow some money to pay back the social I’m sure that they will ask for it back with interest. It’s got to be the best thing to do all round. I’m starting to feel the pressure now Patrick and I want to bury my parents and move on with my life.”

Patrick listened and nodded, it was a valid strategy but he thought that his plan although a little riskier was more suitable to Martins needs. Just for a brief moment forgot the rules of Social Distancing and he put his arm around Martin’s shoulder and led him out of his own office to his own bar and sat him on a  bar stool

Patrick thought that they both needed a drink and he wanted to explain his own plan. This plan also involved the police, The Doctor and The Social but all in the right order and at the right time. Patrick went behind the Hayden’s bar that he and Martin had run behind there many times as kids, playing Hide and Seek and being chastised by one or more of their parents for being in an open bar under aged.

He poured them both a lager. A Guinness took too long to pour and Patrick thoughts were that they needed a drink now and while they drank their beer Patrick explained his plan

Chapter Two

Patrick `s day job was Private detective Patrick O’Bernstein. He had attended many courses over the years and on occasion when seemingly simple jobs ended in tragedy Patrick had worked in liaison with the with The Dublin District  Coroner’s Office and The Department of Justice. Patrick had been paid to find missing friends or relatives and sometimes his enquiries had led him to The Coroner’s office and in cooperation with the police he had identified more than one unknown victim found in the street without identification. Their next of kin were informed by the police but his final bill was always paid. Patrick felt that he knew enough about the police and coroner’s office procedure to help his friend on this occasion. The deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Hayden was a tragedy but it was a tragedy that could not have been avoided so now , Patrick felt that it was up to him to help his friend .

Martin’s parents were both dead and they would have wanted the best for their son and not have him embroiled in some messy police investigation. Mr. and Mrs. Hayden were good as well as pragmatic people. They would surly rest easier in their graves in the knowledge that their son was well taken care of and not sitting possibly in a police awaiting the outcome of a criminal and civil inquiry.

Ireland like the rest of the world was in the middle of a pandemic and people like The Hayden’s were succumbing to Covid 19 every day. There had already been 220 deaths in Dublin alone in April. Mr. and Mrs. H were not young they actually older than Patrick’s parents. Martin’s parents were not in the best of health, in fact Martin was named by the local authorities as their official home carer.

Mr. Hayden didn’t like people to think that he was weak or in need of a carer , so he would just sit himself by the bar or behind the counter and tell people that Martin was learning all about the hotel , bar management and store keeping business , from the ground up. Martin Hayden Senior actually had severe asthma and slight angina. These conditions were not eased by Martin Senior smoking forty cigarettes a day 

Martin was just happy to be there and to help. He had been away to university and had returned to the family seat with a degree in Art which Old Mr. Hayden had no use or time for

Young Martin worked hard every day and he sometimes entertained young lonely girl holiday makers who had been forced to come on one last holiday with their parents. Martin had a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in. He had money in his pocket, a full belly and a lot of female company all year round; yes Martin was happy to help

Martin’s small but idyllic world had got a lot smaller since the death of his mother now his father and the pandemic. He didn’t dare invite anyone back to the bar for fear of that someone by chance might discover the frozen bodies of his parents.

Patrick outlined his plan to Martin. Patrick’s plan was so straightforward that Martin couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of it himself. In Martin’s defence being an ex art student in some ways meant that Martin was more prone to think the abstract form than of the concrete structure that governed Patrick’s life. Sometimes Patrick’s work compelled him to think “Out of the Box” but in general, Patrick’s life was one of routine governed by tried and trusted courses of action.

Patrick explained his plan to Martin, there were some details that had to be worked out and explanations rehearsed but the plan was straight forward. One major problem was going to be, how to explain that two people died on the same day. It wasn’t impossible but it was unusual.

Ireland did have one of the lowest death rates in Europe from the corona virus but nonetheless people were dying from it. Both Mr. and Mrs. Hayden died suddenly Edith Hayden died in her sleep and Mr. Hayden senior died suddenly in their bathroom. They both died from existing conditions and not from Covid because as far as Martin was aware neither of his parents had contracted the virus.

His mother had died at the beginning of the outbreak and Mr. Hayden always kept himself to himself he wasn’t that fond of people He liked Patrick’s Da and his Ma. This was because they were also quiet, private people who never imposed themselves on people. Danny O’Bernstein senior and Mr. Martin Hayden would sometimes sit in silence for hours, outside at a table, drinking Whiskey and smoking one cigarette after another without exchanging a single word to each other. They were great together and their set routine of sitting and drinking in silence alone but together meant that the kids could do whatever they wanted.

Dalkey was a great place for The O ‘Bernstein children. While the two men of the family sat down to enjoy their holiday the two wives would open a bottle of special gin brought from the cellar.

Martin Hayden’s isolated lifestyle gave him and his family a good chance of avoiding any pandemic. It’s true that the shop and the bar had customers but very few were close intimate friends. The vast majority of his custom came from weekenders or campers, most of whom now isolated themselves at home and obeyed the new Irish government draconian laws.

The demise of Old Mr. and Mrs. Hayden would have to be recorded as by natural causes. They did both die naturally but when they died might be sticking point. Old Dr. Walker knew the family and their history but this new boy from the city might be a harder nut to crack. Martin and Patrick did not have that much time to work out a strategy. The Coronavirus wouldn’t last forever and eventually someone would ask to speak directly to either of Martin’s parents. There was also the small matter of Dublin based  Patrick O’Bernstein being so far away from his Dublin home during the lockdown and with no valid reason for being in Dalkey.

The doctor probably wouldn’t say anything because it’s not his job but if, God Forbid, the police were called in then Patrick would be in a bit of explaining to do

Patrick’s plan was, as explained earlier, simple. Both Mr. and Mrs. Hayden were down there in the cellar, frozen. Patrick had seen more than just a few detective films and series on the telly over the years and he remembered one episode of an American series where a serial killer was freezing his victims’ bodies to make the police believe that they had died sometimes days or even weeks after he had murdered them.

In this film with the help of their very modern and expensive forensics lab they had discovered this killer’s technique he was found and arrested. But his victims had clearly been murdered in various ways, Mr. and Mrs. H had clearly not been murdered. They were just two frail old people whose bodies had given up the fight.

For this plan to work Patrick had to have faith in the hope that the doctor whoever it was, would not be suspicious being called to, not one but two fatalities at the same address. Also if it came to an autopsy that The Dublin Coroner’s Office couldn’t afford the same equipment and clinical expertise as CSI Whatever.  

Mrs. Hayden died first so she was going to have to be the first one to be taken out of the freezer. It would take about a day for her entire body to come back to a normal body temperature and colour. It was now Monday night and if all went well Martin and Patrick could wash and dress Mrs. Hayden and gently put her in her bed upstairs by Wednesday afternoon.

This wasn’t a task that either men were looking forward to Patrick had seen his share of dead bodies in his time and Martin had more than once butchered a calf from slaughter to plate but this was his mother and not just a piece of dead meat. Martin locked the front door and put up the closed sign and a note it read

“Back in a Jiff! Just post your list in the box or send an Email”

Martin took two heavy blankets with him then he and Patrick went down to the cellar. When they got there    the two men slowly opened the lid of the large chest freezer. There were the frozen bodies of Martin’s mother and father. Martin slammed the lid shut and then ran into a corner and vomited.  When he was finished he turned to Patrick and said

“I don’t know if I can do this Patrick. Can we just call the police, confess and get it over with?”

Patrick to his own surprise! Answered in a soft controlled voice

“We’ve started this now Martin now let’s just see it through. They wouldn’t want to cause you any bother and they wouldn’t want to observe, from heaven their only son in a prison cell. It’ll be aright I promise you”

After that short speech of reassurance Martin composed himself a little, he grabbed a beer from the cold shelve, drank it in one and then said

“Alright I’m ready now”

Martin made the sign of the cross followed by Patrick and then they opened the lid again and both Martin and Patrick gently took up Mrs. H and laid her down onto one of the blankets. The two men realised that next time they would have to wear gloves because their hands were almost burnt from the cold of Edith Hayden’s body. Despite their discomfort they laid her down slowly and with respect. Mrs. H would have to thaw out, dried off, dressed in a clean night gown and then taken upstairs to her bed. But all this could wait until the right time. Martin had said a prayer for the dead over his mother’s body the day she died but she had not received The Last Rites from a priest that would come to pass after the doctor had pronounced her death officially. A telephone call to St Patrick’s was a call that would have to wait a while

Martin wrapped his mother in the blanket, to keep her warm in the cellar and as a sign of respect and then he and Patrick left the cellar to go upstairs to the bar.

Martin poured them both a pint of Guinness and a whiskey chaser and then both men sat at a table in silence. Both men knew that this was not a good time to get drunk, chat and have a laugh. There was still so much to be done. But a couple of pints and a couple of chasers wouldn’t do them much harm.

By late afternoon or early evening Patrick and Martin were starting to get hungry and drinking Guinness and whiskey wouldn’t fill their empty stomachs. Martin suggested that they should ring for a pizza. Patrick was horrified

“Are you joking Martin? We’ve got your dead Ma defrosting in the cellar and you want to invite a pizza man inside”

“Don’t be silly “

Answered Martin

“I’m not going to invite him in. He’ll drop off the pizza and then just turn around and ride home again. It’s not like I’ve invited friends over I’ll just order a family Pizza  and  some garlic bread I’m hungry and I imagine you are too and we’ve still got a few things to do tonight before we put our heads down”

Patrick was impressed by Martin’s ability to suddenly take control of the situation

“Alright “

He said

“And you’re right I am hungry, just no fish Ok?”

Martin smiled, his first today and nodded, as he said

“Right you are then! No fish and I’ll order a couple of family pizzas just to be on the safe side. I’ll give Ragazzi a bell now. They do a good pizza and their local”

Martin took his phone out of his pocket and phoned in his order. A half hour later there was a knock on the door, two family pizzas and the garlic bread. Martin took the pizzas with a smile paid for them and the pizza delivery man returned to Colliemore Road none the wiser. After they had eaten Martin went upstairs to his Ma’s bedroom to fetch a towel and a fresh nightgown. He came down to the bar again and spoke softly to Patrick

“Thanks for your help and support Patrick. I’ll need your help to get Ma up the stairs and into the bed but I would feel better if you let me dress and wash her. Do you understand?”

Patrick understood fully and he told his friend so

 “Yes of course I understand Martin, but you might have to wait with the washing, drying and dressing for at least a couple of days and tomorrow or Wednesday we will have to get your father out of the freezer if this plan is going to work”

Martin nodded and he then folded the towel and the nightgown and put them both behind the bar. All Martin and Patrick could do now was just wait and carry on as normal over the next few days.

 After a few more drinks and some reminiscing about past summers, the two men thought it was best to retire for the night. Patrick went up to his old room and as he opened the door his mind became flooded with boyhood memories. It still felt strange for him to sleep there alone. In the old day he always had to share with Danny.

It was the same room they had painted it since he was a boy and there was a nicer bed and now the room had tea and coffee making facilities as well as a fridge. There was also a flat screen TV. Danny and Patrick had to listen to the radio and they could never agree which station. Patrick always wanted to listen to a drama or a comedy program Danny wanted to listen to the news or some music. Now in 2020 he could watch cable but this night Patrick just wanted to go to sleep.

The next couple days passed quickly Patrick kept himself busy by helping out in the shop and the bar. Martin looked after the phone and made the orders online. There was a steady stream of customers and they all asked when the bar was going to open again and Martin always answered

“You’ll have to ask your man Micheál Martin and his man Stephen Donnelly because I know as much as you”

It might have been the sight of a new face working alongside Martin and a reticence to ask any awkward questions about two men working and assumingly living together that no one asked about Martin’s mother or father. The next day seemed to pass a lot faster than the previous day. It was now official closing time and Martin turned the sign around from open to closed.

It didn’t make any difference to people though; they would just knock on the door anyway. But by now most of the population of Dalkey would be home with their own doors tightly closed never to reopen until the next morning. They didn’t want to bother anyone and they didn’t want to be bothered. This evening Martin and Patrick cooked a meal together, there was plenty of food in the place it was after all a mini-supermarket.

They sat themselves in the bar in the bar turned on the giant screen and watched some telly while they ate their lovingly cooked meal. When they were finished the two men left the plates on the table for the waiter to collect. They then retired to the outside small pavilion taking some cans and a couple of packs of cigarettes. It had been a busy day but for Martin he had been a good day, this day had almost been back to being like a normal day. Martin of course still preoccupied by the thoughts of his mother slowly defrosting in the cellar and he had a passing thought concerning his father who also had to be taken through the same process.  Patrick could see from his childhood friend’s face, that all was not well but he understood as best he could. Patrick reached out and opened two more cans and handed one to Martin

“Sláinte!”

Said Patrick as he crashed his tin up against Martins

“Yes Sláinte!”

Came the response

They sat at the table for a few hours saying very little and then they both decided to go back inside to watch the big screen. Patrick and Martin could relax with each other. They knew one another’s thoughts and shared the same sense of humour. It had always been that way. In the old days Daniel would try and sit with the grownups and try and discuss news and world affairs. But Old Martin and Da Danny just wanted to drink, reminisce and tell jokes. This was a holiday time for the grownups as well for the children and poor young Danny just couldn’t quite fit in. He was too clever for the other children and too dam smart for the adults.

As the night wore on Martin and Patrick felt a bond. They were two men alone in an Ireland gripped by fear and mistrust. So much had occurred over the last few weeks with the Lockdown and the pandemic. 

“Did that coughing man have Covid or was it just a cough? Why is he so close to me? Is he trying to infect me?    Walk away put your mask on properly”

Hayden’s Bar was a sanctuary from all of this suspicion and confusion. Here were just two men alone but together and a million miles away from “The Emergency “ Just like when they were children two friends alone but together, against everyone else  

Martin put his arms around Patrick; it was at first a man grab two mates supporting each other but then he tried to kiss him. Patrick turned his face away from Martin and made a loud kissing sound, he then smiled and kissed Martin on the forward and said in a loud deep voice

“That’s enough of that Nancy Boy I want bromancing not romancing I think one of us had better go to bed”

Martin stood upright from the table with his face filled with rage and shouted

“What are you implying O’Bernstein. I am not an airy fairy. You take that back!”

Patrick had been in this situation in Dublin more than once, either by being propositioned by Gay men or in a situation where an acquaintance was just drunk and melancholy. He knew that his old childhood friend was not gay. To Patrick sometimes signals can be misread and a man’s need for understanding and some form of affection no matter how small can result in innocent people getting hurt. Patrick was an experienced city boy he had seen and been through a lot. Martin was an innocent sad country boy who sometimes couldn’t control his feelings or emotions.  Patrick tried to defuse this explosive moment as quickly and as efficiently as he could. He told Martin in no uncertain terms

“You’re not a poof Martin you never have been and you never will be. I know you. We’ve been in the buff together many times and it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to cross swords with you again. You’re sad, you’re a man who needs to grieve but you can’t yet. You’re a man in pain but you can’t tell anyone. You can’t break down in public because the whole world knows that your parents are alive and well but confined temporarily to their beds. You can’t invite a girl back for a bit of rumpity humpity for fear of them finding out your secret and then I turn up

I’m your old friend and secret keeper and teller I understand you I’m going to help you get out of this mess keep you out of prison and keep your home. We drink, we talk, and we have a laugh. That’s how it’s always been with you and me. We are closer than a married couple, we are best mates. Now sit down and have a beer or bog off to bed. It’s your choice either way we’ve got another busy day tomorrow.”

Martin looked at his friend and he started to weep and sob uncontrollably. Patrick walked over to him and took Martin in his arms, held him close and said nothing.

The next morning both men rose up early to face the new day and all its coming challenges. Patrick made himself busy in the kitchen, frying up a proper English. Martin came into the kitchen warily not knowing what reaction he would get from his friend

“Good morning to you sleepy head “

Said Patrick, without taking his eyes from the frying pan. Martin replied with just a little apprehension  

“Morning Patrick are you ok? Are we ok? “

Patrick couldn’t help but smile at his clearly embarrassed friend, as he said

“Martin! We’re always ok. You Wanker! Now what’s the plan for today? After breakfast and a smoke, of course”

A somewhat relieved Martin answered his friend’s question

“Well we open the shop at nine. Nobody comes in at nine but we are open anyway. Me Da and Ma always turned the sign around at Six every morning, bar Sunday’s In the old days the farmers boys use to pop in for a piece of bread and me, Ma’s homemade jam to start them up for the day and serve the odd bottle of stout for the older ones. Nowadays the smaller farms are owned by the Big Boys in Dublin, they’re farmed once a week and watched over by video surveillance. The really small farms were bought by Asset management companies. I think that according to The EU they are still farms but in reality they are more like rich peoples housing estates. They have Big gates and G4S patrols so that’s why no one comes by at six anymore.”

Patrick took the pan to the table and scooped their breakfast directly onto their plates making sure that they both got their fair share of fat from the pan. Martin grabbed the bread from the cupboard the butter and milk from the fridge and there was coffee in the pot, made earlier by Patrick. Both men sat once again in silence and ate their hearty in more ways than one, breakfast.

Patrick was the last to finish and as he soaked up the last drop of fat from his plate, he said to Martin

“Before we open I think we had better go down to the cellar and get you Ma ready to take upstairs to her own bed. Not to put too fine a point on it, but by now Ma will be dry enough to dress and move. She’ll still be frozen but she won’t make the bed sheets wet and when Ma is upstairs we can take your Da out and do the same”

“How do you know all this?”

Asked a somewhat bemused Martin

Patrick answered a little embarrassed but he kept to the point of answering the question

“Sorry Martin, I know that there is no comparison but I use to work at a butchers and one summer at an abattoir and I was taught how to cure and preserve fresh and frozen meats. Your Ma and your Da are I’m sorry to say, are like two frozen 30 kilo carcasses and I’m working out how to treat them via some calculations I learnt through my work experiences. I’m sorry”

Martin looked down at his plate for a moment and then looked up again and said.

“It’s alright Patrick! I shouldn’t have asked. I should just have accepted your help I helped my Day put Ma in the freezer after I’d emptied it all in to the small freezer and it was me who laid Da next to her. I just hope I don’t go to hell for what I’ve done and everything I’m going to do”

“You won’t “

Said Patrick assuringly

“They know you’re doing your best and in a few days they will both receive the last rites from Father Brennan “

Martin laughed as he said

“Father Brennan? He’s been dead for years. We’ve got a few priests now and some are not Irish. They come and go. They live at the parish and take mass but they never stay long enough to get to know them. They also take the mass at other churches in the area, so if you part of the father’s sermon, you can always pop down the road an hour later and hear it again No! I don’t know who it is who will give Ma and Da the last rites and blessings.”

Patrick stood up and took the plates over to the sink which happened to be right next to the dishwasher. He rinsed them a little under the tap and then left them in the sink.

“Ok Martin”

He said

“You go downstairs and look after your mother and I’ll watch the shop.” 

Chapter Three

Martin nodded with agreement and they both left the kitchen to get on with their allotted tasks. Patrick sat behind the counter and listened to the radio while surfing a little online. There wasn’t much news except for Brexit and Corona. After about an hour there was a buzz from the front door and Patrick got up went to the door to see who it was. It was a local Garda Síochána motorbike constable standing grinning outside Patrick couldn’t see his smile because of his facemask but the rest of his face and eyes were smiling.

“Its Garda Michael Simmons here I just want to buy a loaf of bread, butter and some ham and some jam. Will you buzz me in?”

“Hang on a second Michael I’ll let you in”

Answered a nervous Patrick trying desperately to look relaxed

Patrick ran from the counter and let the constable in

“Thank you “

Said the constable

“It’s a good idea to keep your door locked that way you don’t let too many people in at once. I’ve not seen you before. Do you live local?”

“No “replied Patrick

“I’m not local I just have business in the area and I thought that I’d look up some old friends as I was passing”

Garda   Simmons removed his mask and Patrick could clearly see that his smile had turned to a frown as he continued to make his enquiries

“Where do you live then and do you have some identification you can show me?”

Just at that moment Martin opened the door from the cellar and as he saw his old friend Garda Michael Simmons, He could feel his heartbeat increase and the sound grew so loud in his body that he thought that his heart was going to burst through it.

“Hello Michael, How can I help you?”

Garda Michael answered his old friend

“Hello Martin how are you and who’s this?”

Martin’s heartbeat began to slow a little as he answered

“This is my old and dear friend Patrick O’Bernstein. He was in the area and he decided to pop in for old times’ sake. He’s harmless and virus free”

Garda Michael Simmons was still not too happy about the situation. It was unclear if any laws had been broken or isolation rules had been infringed. He had to be seen to be doing his job; these were difficult, strange and unusual times.

“I’m not happy about this Martin and I know my sergeant won’t be. However today’s your lucky day Patrick I won’t fine you this time I won’t have time today to fine people. This week we at The Garda Síochána are busy cracking down on all these Shebeens that have been popping up in the countryside. We don’t like illegal pubs in our district. Oh but how are your folks Martin?”

Martin could feel his heart rate increase again and his knees started to shake as he said

“They are both upstairs still asleep. You know what it’s like for people of their age but Ma and Da are both keeping well and keeping each other company as they always have done”

“Alright”

Said a slightly less suspicious Garda Simmons

 “I won’t disturb them today I’ll call in next time when I’m on my rounds and say hello. Give them my best. I’ll be off then “

A very relieved Martin said

“Good bye Michael, drive safe”

And suddenly Patrick interjected

“Don’t forget your shopping, Garda Simmons; you don’t want to ride all that way back again. There are not that many open shops around”

Garda Michael smiled and said

“Yes, thank you Patrick I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on. Martin I’ll have a loaf of your Ma’s special homemade bread, a packet of Kerrygold and do you still have some of that farmers strawberry jam?”

Martin took a loaf of the bottom shelve and said

“Yes we still have a couple of jars left. Do you just want the one jar?”

Garda Michael smiled as he said

“Go on then, you capitalist swine give me two jars”

Martin packed everything into a large paper bag and then Garda Michael paid using his credit card and started to leave but before he left he said to Patrick

“Good bye Patrick I trust I won’t be seeing you again in the near future”

Patrick answered emphatically

“No you won’t Garda, no you won’t

Garda Michael nodded and then left. He honked his horn twice as he rode away and waved. As his motorcycle disappeared into the distance Patrick said to Martin

“I need to do a dump badly and now”

Patrick disappeared for about half an hour and then came back looking a little less strained. His first question to Martin was

“Where did your mother’s Special homemade bread come from?”

Martin answered

“My Ma hasn’t made bread for over fifteen years. Before I came back she would buy uncut bread from the supermarket and then just stick it in the oven. When I got back from University I started baking the bread but nobody wanted Martin’s homemade bread but everybody wanted Ma Hayden’s homemade, home baked bread. So I still make it. I don’t know what I’m going to call it the future but for now, it’s still Ma’s Homemade Bread.”

The coast was now clear again, no gendarmes, no travelers or campers just Martin, Patrick and Mr. and Mrs. Hayden. Martin made sure that the front door was locked he put up the sign again and then he and Patrick went down to the cellar.

Mrs. Martin looked so serine and beautiful as she lay motionless on the blanket Martin had cleaned her body and combed out her lovely long silver hair. Patrick couldn’t decide whether he was Prince Charming walking into an enchanted castle to rescue The Sleeping Princess or just Burke’s partner Hare breaking into a family vault to steal a body.

Patrick and Martin gently lifted Mrs. Hayden up from the floor Martin then realised that he hadn’t propped the door open to allow them to get through. He gestured Patrick to put his mother gently down again and then climbed the stairs to open the door, there was a latch fitted to the wall with a hook to hold open the door for deliveries. When the door was secured he came down again to help Patrick lift his mother up to her bedroom and reverently into her bed. They covered her body with the duvet and then Martin kissed his mother on the cheek.

Patrick and Martin’s next job was to take his father from the freezer and lay him down on a fresh dry blanket. This new task didn’t seem to be as difficult or draining for Martin as before. He just with Patrick’s help reached into the freezer and lifted his father up and then out. The next couple of days ran very similar to the previous days. There were things to be done, a hotel/pub/Supermarket does not run itself and Martin was glad for the extra help given to him by his friend. Customers came and went collecting their neatly boxed or bagged shopping. The orders came in every day and were efficiently dealt with by Martin and the picking and packing was a job both Martin and Patrick shared out equally. There were food deliveries every day but no one needed to go down to the cellar. The Butcher kindly offered his assistance to save leg work for Martin. He had been in the cellar many times and he knew his way around the whole building. Martin declined his kind offer for help because his good friend Patrick needed the exercise.

It was on the Thursday morning that is was Martin Senior’s turn to be cleaned up and then lifted up to the bedroom in the bed next to his wife.  As a couple hadn’t slept together for many years but they always slept in the same room. It was the same process as last time Martin went down to the cellar to prepare his father’s body and Patrick looked after the shop. When all preparations were complete Martin came back into the shop he put up the closed sign and they both went down to the cellar to collect Mr. H and took him up the stairs. Martin opened the bedroom window and he then kissed his mother and father. It was actually the first time Martin ever remembered kissing his Da

The rest of Patrick’s plan was simple. On the O’Bernstein book of plans first page there stood in Big Red letters 

“Simple is Good, Simple is Best!”

All they had to do was wait until Friday evening and then phone the local doctor’s surgery and when the answer phone came on just leave a message for Dr. Walker. Martin and Patrick would agree the precise wording of the message. Write it down and then read it out word for word, this way when the message was heard Monday morning and if the worse comes to the worst and a copy was sent to the police or coroner’s office Martin’s message would be word perfect

“Hello this is a message for Doctor Walker. This is Martin Hayden junior speaking. I’m ringing to inform you that my mother Edith Hayden just passed away. The time right now is seven minutes past five pm I know that it’s the weekend and that you like the rest of us want to relax at the end of a busy week. My mother as expected died peacefully in her sleep. It was a blessing for me and my father that my mother held on for so long. It’s me letting you know Dr Walker because as you can imagine my father has taken the passing of my mother and his dear wife very hard. In fact he has hardly left her side since she passed away. I hope that when you listen to my message Monday morning that you can come by and certify the death of my mother and try and help me console my father. You Dr Walker have always been a good friend to our family in times of need. My father always said that you were a role model for the town of Dalkey and a good man. I know that Da will appreciate you stopping by personally but only if you are well enough and can spare the time. I’m sure that your Locum could just as easily sign the certificate for you Thank you and all the best”  

Some two hours later Martin’s phone rang and he put it on speaker phone so that Patrick could also hear. It   was the practice secretary Mary Miles. She had known the family many years. She wasn’t quite as old as Dr Walker but she was getting on. Mary’s voice was calm, clear and sympathetic as she spoke

“Hello, is that Martin? Of course it is I’m sorry! I’ve just been checking the answer phone messages. I usually leave it until Monday but these are special times. My deepest condolences go out to you and your father Martin. God knows how sad you and your father must be feeling. I know that both your parents have been ill for the last couple of years. But I know that it’s still a shock and a tragedy. How’s your father doing? Can I have a wee word?”

Martin’s   heart began to race again Patrick looked at his friend he put his finger over his mouth and put his hand up in the air lowered it slowly  and then shook his head. Patrick then gave a nervous half smile and whispered

“He’s distraught”

After a short pause Martin answered Mary

“I’m sorry Mary but Da can’t come to the phone right now. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone, he’s so distraught. Da always thought that he would be the first one to go. He will be more able to speak to people Monday. I know he will”

Mary’s sympathetic tone did not alter as she spoke again

“I understand Martin I fully understand. You give your dad my best and from everybody at the practice and Dr Walker himself will be there Monday. I’ll bid you good night Martin and once again I’m sorry for your loss”

Martin put down his telephone and exhaled a deep breath. It wasn’t uncommon in the country to wait until after the weekend for a doctor to come and pronounce death. After all the body wasn’t going anywhere. If the death was suspicious then the police would know exactly who to look for. Mrs. Hayden’s death was expected, it was a miracle according to everyone that she had lasted this long. Edith’s Hayden’s death was not the problem but her husband Martin Hayden death so soon after his wife’s might raise some questions despite them both being in such poor health

Martin and Patrick had a relaxing weekend they drank watched a few films and cleaned the cellar making sure that the floors were bone dry. Neither man wanted to venture into Ma and Da Hayden’s bedroom for fear of disturbing them. The main window was left open to freshen up the room and all their clothes and bed clothes had been washed dried, folded and put away. Patrick asked his friend if he may go into the room one last time before Monday and the doctors visit in case they had forgotten to do anything to avoid any suspicion. Martin agreed and Patrick entered the room. Upon entering Patrick noticed that next to Edith’s bed on her bedside table there was a small but extensive tower of unopened pill packets and boxes. Patrick went downstairs again and asked Martin about the medicines. Martin explained to him that despite his mother being dead they had to drive down to the chemist once a month to collect her prescriptions to avoid suspicion. If they hadn’t collected the medicine then the chemist would have phoned the doctor Walker and he would want to know why Mrs. Hayden was not taking her pills

“We’ll have to get rid of the lot” 

Said Patrick and he continued

“We can’t burn them there’s too much metal. We will have to bury nearly all of it in the garden. We had better save some for the sake of appearance but the rest will have to go. I hope there’s no more pills hidden somewhere”

Martin answered him

“Yes there’s also some in the drawer, the table was looking too cluttered. I’ll go upstairs and get all the pills if you wouldn’t mind making a start with the digging. There’s a shovel in the garage”

Patrick just nodded and then went outside to the garage to fetch the shovel. It was lucky that it wasn’t midsummer or mid winter. The earth was soft and easy to break up with the shovel. While Patrick dug Martin went back into his parent’s room. For some reason he knocked on the door, it was a convention in the Hayden house to knock before entering a person’s room. He had always done it. Martin didn’t expect a reply but he imagined his father’s voice saying

“Come in or don’t come in! Don’t come in! Don’t come in”

Martin paused for a moment and smiled to himself and then he went in. His mother and father were tucked into their beds serene, together and at peace. He kissed them both again on the forehead and said

“Good night Ma, good night Da”

He then emptied the cupboard and drawers of all the pill boxes and packets. He left a handful of medicines as instructed by the bed on top of the table and left the room to find Patrick. In the garden, by this time Patrick had dug a very deep hole and was puffing on a cigarette.

“There that should be deep enough”

He said proudly to Martin

“Empty the whole lot in the hole and then I’ll fill it in and nobody will be any the wiser”

Martin did as his friend instructed and Patrick filled in the hole and patted it down with the shovel. He then found some loose twigs and leafs and scattered them over the freshly dug earth. It was now Sunday evening. All they had to do was cook a meal, have a few drinks, a chat and then go to bed. They would wake up Monday morning and wait for the doctor. Another thing Martin wanted to do Monday morning was to phone St. Patrick’s and ask for a priest to come over and give his parents The Last Rites and to anoint his parents.

Monday morning Martin got up early, he hadn’t slept well the previous night but now he was up washed, shaved and ready for the doctor. He gave Patrick a shout and after a short while Patrick came down and met him in the kitchen. Neither man could face cooked English, this day. There was too much tension in the air. Patrick tried to reassure Martin that everything would be fine but he himself, despite all their preparations and work was nervous.

The buzzer sounded at nine o’clock. Morning Ireland had just finished Åine and Mary had just wished us all a good day and the radio news had just started. Martin opened the door and let Dr Walker in. He was wearing a visor and gloves. He smiled and took Martin as warmly as he good, wearing gloves, by the hand he shook it warmly and said

“I’m sorry for your loss Martin. Let me just go up stairs; see your mother and then I can sign the death certificate. After the formalities we can all sit down and have a chat”

After he had finished speaking he noticed Patrick behind the front desk and nodded. Patrick said hello and tried to introduce himself.

“Hello Dr walker I’m Patrick…. “

But before Patrick had finished speaking Dr Walker interrupted him

“I know who you are! You’re Patrick O’Bernstein and you have a brother Danny and two sisters but I can’t for the life of me remember their names. You and your brother brought Chicken Pox to Dalkey some years ago. It’s alright I know it wasn’t your fault but you kept me busy that summer. It’s good that you’re here. How are you? You’re not down with the lurgy as well are you? “

Patrick answered

“No I’m fine thank you Dr Walker. I’ve been tested and everything”

Dr Walker looked Patrick up and down and said

“Good that’s great Patrick, Now remember me to your parents when you see them. I trust that they are well”

Patrick nodded and said

“Yes they are both grand thank you doctor and yes I will”

Dr Walker smiled and then turned to go up the stairs. Martin could feel his heart racing again as he said

“Dr Walker before you go upstairs I have to tell you that me Da passed away as well over the weekend. He was sitting on the toilet I heard a loud noise from the bathroom I opened the door to see if he was alright and he laid there dead on the floor. I called for Patrick and we both picked him up. We laid down in the bath to clean him up. There was a terrible mess and I thought that it wasn’t a dignified way to leave him. Patrick and I both washed him, put on some clean pajamas and then placed him in the bed so he could lie at peace next to Ma.”

Dr Walker paused for a moment he glanced over to Patrick and then looked intently into Martin’s eyes as he said

“I’m sorry again for your loss Martin But I must say that it was only a matter of time before you lost one parent and then the other. I imagine that your Da was just hanging on in there so that your mother wouldn’t be left on her own. With the death of your mother I imagine that he felt it was time to let go. There have been cases of people willing themselves to die and I think your Da in some ways proves that theory. Let me go upstairs and have a look. Will you join me?”

Martin nodded and then led the way up to his parents’ bedroom. He opened the door and let Dr Walker go in first. Dr Walker shuddered for a moment and then noticed the open window.

“You can close that laddy, it’s freezing in here. I’ll catch my death and there are no more beds”

Dr Walker went over to Edith Hayden’s bed first. She was the first fatality and his reason for being there. He took out his stethoscope and he checked for a heartbeat and a pulse. He took his torch and shined it into her eyes. There were no signs of life; he then took both her hands one by one to check her fingernails. He laid each hand gently down when he had finished examining them. Dr Walker looked over at Martin and said  

“You can’t be too careful”

He then covered her face and made the sign of the cross. Dr Walker then turned his attention to Martin Hayden senior. He put his hand on the dead man chest and then took it quickly away again.

“He’s stone cold, you’re father. How long has that window been open?”

Martin could feel his heart go again as he answered

“Just over the weekend doctor”

Dr Walker broke out a little smile as he said

“And people are always complaining about, my cold hands. It would be in bad taste to talk about the coldness of death and the comparative warmth of my hands during a consultation. I’m just saying that your Da is cold”

Doctor Walker continued the examination. He did exactly what he did before. He checked the finger nails and he examined quite closely Da Hayden’s neck. When he had finished the doctor covered the body once again and made the sign of the cross. Doctor Walker then turned to look at Martin he nodded and waved to the doorway to indicate that he was finished. When both the doctor and Martin were down stairs again he asked Martin to come into the kitchen with him for a private chat. Martin asked Patrick to watch the reception and then the two of them went into the kitchen and closed the door. Once inside and seated Martin wanted to confess everything and put himself at the mercy of Dr Walker. Martin opened his mouth to speak but before he could speak Dr Walker asked him

“Is there any tea in the pot I’m parched!”

Martin stood up and took a couple of cups from the cupboard got some milk from the fridge and found the sugar bowl. Dr Walker poured himself and Martin a cup of tea. He took a large gulp of tea from his cup and said

“That’s better I was gasping. These masks and visors give me a great thirst. Once again I’m sorry for your double loss Martin. I’ll sign the death certificates and give you a copy. I’d be neglecting in my duty if I didn’t inform the coroner because I mean two deaths, one weekend and in the same house could raise some red flags I have to tell you I found no signs of foul play and I didn’t expect to. But in these circumstances the final word comes from the coroner. He will however read my report and take my opinion into account. I’m going to have to call an ambulance and your parents will be laid to rest at the hospital morgue. It’ll only be a couple of days and then I assure you and then you can bury them”.

Martin couldn’t show Dr Walker how relived he was without telling him the whole truth but he began to weep and the more he tried not to cry the more he cried. Dr Walker took Martins hand and tried to console him but to no avail The two men just sat at the table Dr Walker drinking some more tea ass Martin continued to cry. After a short while Dr Walker called out for Patrick and Patrick came into the kitchen still not certain if they had got away with everything Dr Walker beckoned Patrick to take his place at the kitchen table and as the two men swapped places Dr Walker took his phone and called the Coroner’s office and the country morgue to come and collect the two bodies. He then said reassuringly to Martin

“They’ll more comfortable at the morgue while you get in touch with the undertakers. I could also telephone St Patrick’s and the bodies can be anointed before the morgue ambulance gets here. It’s not like they’ll be in a hurry to get here. Your Ma and Da are not going anywhere, not in this world, anyway”

Doctor Walker made all the calls that he said he would and he then opened his bag and took out a little envelope and put it on the table. He spoke again to Martin

“Here’s a little something to give you a good night’s sleep tonight. If you need me, you know where I am. Our help line is open twenty four hours a day. There’s an automatic switchboard that will put you through to someone to talk to if I’m not available I’ll bid you both a good day”

Doctor Walker then looked at Patrick and said

“Martin is lucky to have a friend like yourself with him at this distressing time. God bless You Patrick”

Patrick and Martin smiled and shook the doctor’s gloved hand. Martin thanked him and Dr Walker then took his leave, got back into his car and drove away.

About forty minutes there was a knock on the door followed by two buzzes. Martin looked through the glass and standing there was a man dressed in black. It was Father Lucas Marbay a mixed race Zimbabwean giant of a man from who had just driven down from St Patrick’s. Father Lucas’s broad smile and up raised hand filled Martin with joy. He opened the door and let him in. Father Lucas held out one of his huge hands and said

“The top of the morning to you! I take it that you are Martin Hayden I’m Father Lucas Marbay from St Patrick’s. I imagine that you know why I’ve called around I’m sorry for your double loss Martin. Please accept my condolences”

The site of this friendly African giant wearing the black uniform of a Catholic priest made Martin stop and stare for a moment eventually he said

“Good morning father and welcome. Whereabouts are you from?”

Father Marbay could feel his brow drop a little as it had done many times before when asked this question but he answered politely, he was after all in a house of bereavement.

“I’m sorry I thought that I’d just told you I’m from St Patrick’s. Now shall we sit down for a moment and have a chat. I don’t want to talk about the funeral I leave all that sort of thing to the Church office I just want to know how you are in yourself. A time of bereavement is a hard time for everyone, and it goes without saying that it affects the family more than anyone else”

Martin took the young father into the kitchen and gave a nod to Patrick to watch over the place while he and father Marbay had a chat. When Martin asked where this African priest was from, he didn’t expect the answer to Dalkey. But Father Lucas Marbay had not come here to talk about his past he was there to console Martin and give the last rites albeit a little late to Mr. and Mrs. Hayden. The Good father and Martin chatted for a good while. The whole time they spoke Martin was frightened that he was going to break down and tell Father Marbay the whole story. 

 This conversation was not carried out under the seal of confession and if Martin had told the young priest that he had committed any criminal act then Father Marbay would have felt compelled to inform the authorities. Martin’s actions were not just illegal but also went against the teachings of the Church. Martin stood up and led Father Marbay up the stairs to his parent’s bedroom. As they got to the top of the stairs they heard the sound of the front door buzzing. It was the ambulance van sent by The Dublin morgue. Patrick let them in and explained to them what was happening. The two men crew were very understanding and Patrick led them into the bar and gave them both a cup of coffee with some complimentary biscuits. Everyone waited patiently downstairs while Father Marbay anointed Ma and Da Hayden and gave them the last rites. Martin watched from the other side of the room and as he did he fought back the tears. They were tears of sadness and of joy, he wanted to cry over the death of his parents but at the same time he wanted to rejoice because his parents were now ready to go through the gates of heaven together

The ceremony didn’t last very long Father Marbay took on his Vestment before he began and when he was finished he took it off kissed it and then gently folded  the vestment and put it back in his bag. Father Marbay then turned to Martin smiled and gave him a blessing. The two of them then left the room and went down to the reception area. Martin thanked Father Marbay and then followed him out to his car. The two men from the county waited patiently in the bar until father Marbay had driven away and until Martin came to greet them

“Hello”

Said martin to the waiting men

“I take it that you are here to collect my folks. I’ll just show you where they are “

The two men nodded finished their coffee quickly stuffed the last remaining biscuits in their mouths and then followed Martin to the foot of the stairs

“Both Ma and Da are resting in the room at the top of the stairs. I know that you will be careful”

One of the men answered Martin in a soft kind voice.

“We always are Mr. Hayden it’s our job to respect the deceased”

The two men then went out to the vehicle to collect the first stretcher. IT took them ten minutes to complete their task. They didn’t rush they were gentle and worked at a steady pace and when Mr. Hayden was laid in next to his wife they gently closed the back door. It felt strange for Martin to sign a loading docket for his parents but in essence that’s what it was as his parents were shipped off to Dublin.

Martin closed his front door and watched the ambulance drive past hiss window. He then put up the closed sign for the day. Today was a day when Martin did not want customers or even company. He apologised to his dear friend Patrick and asked him to go home and that they could maybe talk tomorrow. Patrick understood, he went upstairs to pack his things and then left to walk down to the station.

Patrick got home unimpeded by the police or crime prevention officers. The Garda Síochána was no doubt busy isolating and trying to find and close the Dublin County Shebeens, there had also been a lot of break-ins in Dublin due to empty properties. Patrick got back safely and unnoticed back to his home and made himself a cup of tea. He looked in the fridge for some milk and as luck would have it, he had a quick sniff before pouring it. He then reached inside his pocket and retrieved some milk powder that he had liberated from Hayden’s bar that day when he made coffee for the two drivers.

Patrick’s phone was quiet that day and night. He wanted to call Martin to find out how he was but the man had made it clear that he wanted to be left alone. There was beer in his fridge and a pizza in the freezer so Patrick was fine and in isolation again until he ventured out, masked to the local Tesco’s in the morning.

Patrick was awoken tuesday morning by his phone. He could see that it was Martin and he hesitated for a moment. If Martin was in trouble then so was he, but he answered the phone anyway. They hadn’t killed anyone so the charges and sentencing wouldn’t be that severe.

“Hello Martin. How’s it going?”

In some ways Patrick didn’t really want to know but it’s just something you say. Martin answered his question

“I’m alright Patrick, I got a call from the coroner today and they are going to release Ma and Da to the undertakers and the funeral is on Friday. It’s not going to be a big send off, not nowadays. If you can get out of Dublin again it would be great to see you there. I can’t have that many guests, according to guide lines we can have up to fifty but I think that Ma and Da would have wished to have a more intimate service of remembrance. Da would also turn in his grave if he knew that a load of freeloaders were drinking the booze and eating the food that he originally paid for. So will you come? I will also invite Danny, Mary, Bernadette and your Ma and Da.”

Patrick answered in a flash

“I know that we will be there with Bells on, my friend and thank you for the invite. I’m glad that All’s well that ends well”

Martin answered quickly and then ended the call

“Shut up! You Wanker!”

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