Phillip Bedford . The Unapologetic Bachelor

 

One

The 1980’s in Britain brought prosperity and hardship. It was the beginning of the Aids epidemic and The Outing movement. It wasn’t illegal to be homosexual but given the climate of the times it wasn’t always acceptable. This was a time when all single middle-aged men were suddenly no longer looked on as bachelors but as possible closet gays or child molesters. It became obligatory for every unattached man to explain to everyone or anyone who asked him, why they were not married ? 

Two  

 Philip Bedford was a single man who lived his single life in his single man’s home, opened his front door and entered his empty terrace house in Harrow. He carried his shopping into his kitchen and methodically put everything in its rightful place. He began with the milk and other cold goods, placing them carefully and with some precision into the fridge. This action was followed with ease and determination with the rest of his non perishable shopping. When everything was put away in its rightful place then Philip could reward himself with a cup of tea. The kettle was filled and then plugged in to the wall socket and then the tea preparation could begin. Philip never liked to leave plugs in their wall sockets, this action could lead to a risk of fire. This meant that before leaving the house all plugs were removed from every wall. This was also a routine that he practiced before going to bed in the evening. In the old days in order to get up for work in the morning he used his ever reliable clockwork alarm clock. These days however he was able to use his smart speaker and he did so enjoy his little chats with Alexa.

It was still light outside and the weather was still warm so Philip decided to leave the tea for a while and take a beer outside into his small but always neatly trimmed garden. He and Agnes had bought some garden furniture together almost thirty years ago and it still looked in pristine condition. Philip had always taken good care of this furniture. It was always lubricated at the beginning of summer. He had repainted it on several occasions and the furniture was always protected by thick coverings during the cold winter months. He took a glass from the cupboard and two beers from the fridge he knew that one was never enough.

Philip set one beer under the table to keep it cool and then poured the other one into his glass he then sat back into his chair and took a sip from his glass. It tasted good, he then took another long mouthful and swallowed it slowly Philip could feel this cool amber nectar slide down his throat he then rested the glass down onto the table. The sun by this time in the early evening was low but still warm and there was hardly any breeze it was just a beautiful summers late afternoon.

Philip sat back again in his chair and started to think about his life and his mother Agnes. Agnes had in many ways been the only woman in his life; he was 73 years old and had never been married. Philip never knew his father. Phillip’s father according to Agnes died three months before Philip’s birth. He was a naval officer killed during the withdrawal from Palestine in 1947. Philip’s father was also called Philip.

Agnes told Philip junior that his father was an orphan with no known family and that he had died not knowing that his wife was expecting their first child. Because of his duties Philip Senior and Agnes were married in haste Philip’s ship was soon to depart for Palestine. There were no photographs because cameras were not allowed on the base. Philip senior held on the marriage certificate because in those days men kept all important documents for safe keeping. Women were famous for losing things men were much more meticulous and disciplined. When the ship was accidently shelled by The Palestinians all of Philip Bedford’s possessions were burnt up in the subsequent fire. Philip Bedford Senior was buried at sea after the ship managed to escape the blockade. Agnes never saw him again and Philip junior never met his father.

Agnes Bedford was also an orphan Philip had no grandparents, cousins or uncles and aunts. It was just he and Agnes. They lived in a nice house and Agnes had a job at the local Post office Agnes did mention once that she was an assistant cook at some stately home but that job didn’t work out. Agnes had had some kind of falling out with the Lady of the House. Agnes never mentioned this part of her life again and Phillip never presumed to ask

Agnes actually met Philip’s father at the house where she had worked. He was a dashing young Ship’s commander. The young commander smiled broadly at Agnes during a dinner held at the house. Philip winked at the young pretty Agnes he pointed to his watch spun his finger once around his watch looked up to heaven and then winked again. Agnes had read many romantic novels so she knew what the young commander meant. She was to meet him in his room at one o’clock and she did. Their illicit romance carried on throughout the young commanders stay and continued on his naval base for some months after. This young man was bright, charming and funny Agnes was falling in love. It was nine weeks after their first encounter that Agnes knew that she carrying his child. Agnes tried to call the base to give the Young Commander the good news but he was out on general maneuvers and could not be contacted. On his return he sent a letter to Agnes asking that they should meet again in secret. It was at this meeting that Agnes told Philip senior about the baby. He told Agnes that everything would be fine and that he would sort everything out in a way that was good for everyone. They made love for the last time and Agnes never saw her young commander again.

It was two days later that a large black car with black tinted windows pulled up outside the stately home of Agnes Bedford’s employers. Two men got out and were immediately granted access to his Lordship and the Lady of the house. A third man in a naval officer’s uniform remained in the car. Agnes was called up from the kitchen and escorted by the butler into His Lordships study. The butler bad Agnes to sit down and then left her alone. After a short time the door opened and in came His Lordship closely followed by the two men.

The two men were not authorised to reveal to His Lordship the purpose of their visit nor did they give any reason to why they wished to speak to his young cook. The two men thanked the still confused Lord and then reminded him that, as a peer of the realm it was his duty to defend the Honour of his King. His Lordship bowed and then left the room. Agnes was scared and a little confused. The two men spoke impeccable English but both men spoke with a different accent.  Agnes was a purely working class girl who could never have worked out the original nationality of the two well dressed and extremely polite men. They were given the unenviable task of informing Agnes that her young Commander was already engaged to be married and matters of National security depended on this marriage taking place.

 It was on this day Agnes, under special powers granted to them by His Majesties Government that the two men took Agnes into protective custody for her own safety and the well being of the unborn child. Agnes was to put it mildly a little taken aback she nodded, smiled and then burst into tears.

One of the men tried to comfort her without becoming too intimate thankfully there was then a knock on the door and a very well dressed nurse with sparkling eyes and a broad smile entered the room. Up until that moment nobody had a name. The nurse walked up to the clearly distressed Agnes and put her arms around her and spoke

“You men you have no idea. Now it’s alright Agnes I’m Nurse Rose but please call me Helen. We will be seeing a lot of each other over the next few months until your term in over. I’m to be your private nurse, companion and I hope best friend”

Agnes turned her face to cry on Nurse Rose’s shoulder and held onto her tightly. Nurse Rose spoke again

“Have they told you what’s going to happen to you or rather to us yet? I bet they haven’t, typical men. They always leave us waiting and in suspense”

Nurse Rose did not know the identity of the father. It wasn’t clear if anyone did. Her instructions were clear. There was a young girl who was in trouble and in need of help and support and for some reasons the British Government and two other unknown countries plus three royal households had decided that they were going to help this young girl. This was all, in no doubt, all from the goodness of their hearts, possibly a post war good will gesture by everyone involved.

Nurse Rose explained to Agnes that this was to be her last day in the kitchens of this house. She and Agnes were to be flown to Greece in a few days and that a local doctor would be on call 24 hours a day in case of any complications. Agnes’s days of being a cook were over, well at least for the next six to eight months. The most important thing now was her good health and the well being of her baby. Agnes left the house and the employ of His Lordship that day never to return. All of her things were packed up and boxed by some men employed by the two men. Three days later after a brief stay in a suite at a local hotel Agnes, Nurse Rose and her two foreign chaperones were on a ship destined for Greece.

Agnes’s new temporary home was spacious and compared to her way of life, luxurious. There was a big private garden which was surrounded by high walls. There were two men staying there but living in a chalet outside the house. These men changed from time to time they would nod and greet Agnes and Nurse Rose but never engage in any conversation. There was a pool outside and there was a radio and a gramophone player with a vast selection of records to play. Every day English newspapers were delivered always one day behind but nonetheless welcome. Agnes was allowed to travel around a little but she was always accompanied by one of her minders who also acted as a chauffeur. Agnes was allowed a small amount of pocket money and accounts in her name had been established in all the local shops in the town and the surrounding area. The house also had a cook and a maid who was also the cleaner. A gardener came twice a week and he also cleaned the pool

Agnes accepted everything without question and led this life without complaint or comment until the birth of her child. The two men explained to Agnes over and over again the need for absolute secrecy. This was for the sake of the Monarchy and for the Empire. World war two had just ended and everyone in Britain realised the importance of patriotism. Agnes was a loyal British subject and she would do anything for her country.

The local doctor came by every month to examine Agnes and to check all of Nurse Rose’s notes. From what the doctor could work out from conversations with Agnes then young Philip would make his presence known, almost to time. An ambulance was called and an operating theatre was commandeered for the birth. The local doctor was present plus a visiting gynecologist who had also been on call for this event. Young Philip Bedford was born July 2^nd 1947. He was born the same year as two European kings died leaving no male heir and three months before a royal engagement in Britain was announced. Philip Bedford was a healthy strong baby born without complications weighing seven and a half pounds with a full head of black hair

Three

Philip Bedford was registered as a Greek citizen by virtue of his birth and a right to live in Britain by virtue of his mother’s citizenship. Agnes had no family in Britain so it was agreed that young baby Philip should be babtised in Greece. The house and all the employees took part in an impromptu Baptismal party for young Philip Bedford.       

Agnes was allowed to stay at the house for six months after the birth of her son. She and Philip then returned to England. They were given a small house, in Harrow to live in rent free. Nurse rose still kept in touch over the following few years. Agnes was given a job at the local Royal Mail post office. She worked behind the counter and she did so for over forty years until her retirement on her 65^th birthday. On that day Agnes was also given the title deeds to her house. A motorcycle courier hand delivered the envelope containing the deeds to her address and enclosed was also a personal letter from The Chairman of Royal Mail thanking Agnes for her years of service and loyalty.

Philip knew nothing of his past, he just knew Agnes and for him that’s all he needed to know. There always seemed to be money available for any kind of emergency or extracurricular activities at Philips School. Money never seemed to be a problem at The Bedford’s Home. They were obviously not rich but their lives were comfortable. Philip started school at four years old. He was sent to a local preparatory school in Harrow called Orley Farm.

No one ever mentioned Philip not having a father because all the teachers had been informed by unknown sources that Philip’s father had died as a hero serving his country. Father’s in those days took no interest in the education of their children. These men of importance were far too busy making money or serving their country. Agnes being a single mother was never an issue at the school. Philip remained at Orley Farm until he was thirteen and then he went on to study at Eton. Philip was a bright student who excelled in almost every subject. He passed all of his A Levels and bagged a place at Oxford. Philips acceptance to Oxford was never really in any doubt because he and Agnes still had friends in strange and somewhat foreign high places.

Philip was away from Harrow and his mother for three years studying Classics at Oxford. He returned home some weekends and during the breaks. An Oxford academic year is approximately thirty weeks and the other twenty two weeks Phillip balanced his time between Harrow and Oxford. Phillip made friends at Oxford he was well known, respected and liked by his fellow students and tutors. He made up his mind at Fresher’s week that he was going to study for three years and not join the Final’s Party Groups. In those heady olden days before Course Modules there were more than a few very bright students at Oxford who just partied for three years and then scraped a passing with Honours BA by completing their final exams.

Philip had not had a privileged life like many of the other students on Campus. He did have a couple of short term uncommitted romances during his course. However Phillip felt that he could not live up to the expectations of these women. Agnes and Phillip did not have a Villa at St Remy de Provence and he had never been skiing in Zermatt and would never be likely to  

It was just he and his mother. Phillip did wonder sometimes who his father was and what was he like as a person.   Agnes had always been vague when describing her long since dead husband. Agnes excused this vagueness by putting it down to the fact that it was such a long time ago and that Agnes and Philip’s father had not known each other that long before he was taken from her.

Agnes sat in the audience, a proud mother watching her son graduate and to accept his degree. Phillip looked splendid in his cap and gown. Phillip Bedford would also receive his Master of Arts diploma a year later. This is one of the privileges bestowed on a student who studies and passes out at either Oxford or Cambridge. Phillip Bedford could soon call himself Phillip Bedford MA without lifting a finger. His next task after cleaning out his rooms and returning to Harrow was to find a job. This seemingly difficult challenge was met by an out of the blue letter, in the post, offering young Phillip Bedford a job.

The letter stated that someone on the faculty of Oxford University had recommended Phillip for the job and they had a vacancy for a trainee Director’s Associate. The Company was a Pan-European Merchant bank located in The City of London. The job description was vague but the job offer seemed to be genuine. Phillip contacted the bank and was called in for a chat. Phillip Bedford started his job working as a Director’s Associate merchant banker in 1971 and worked there until his retirement in 2012.

Most of his working day over these years was spent reading and signing documents prepared by other people. Phillip never felt that he achieved very much he was just there. Every morning he took the train from Harrow and Wealdstone to Bank underground. He would buy a newspaper and then walk to the bank from the underground station. The entire journey time was half an hour. Phillip’s mother would always make him sandwiches for his lunch break and he and his work colleagues would sit together in The Board room for one hour every day and eat their sandwiches together. The secretaries, clerks and other employees could eat their lunch at their desks or ask permission to leave the building. There were many of the younger employees who opted to have their lunches away from the bank. Phillip found great comfort in sharing his lunch break with his work friends. They would discuss current affairs and politics, every day from one o’clock until precisely two o’clock Phillip and his comrades would save the world and win every sports trophy known to man, woman or beast.

Phillip in his down time at work also liked to flirt innocently with the young secretaries. He didn’t really know how to talk to women but a smile and a funny face and a very bad impression of somebody famous seemed to make the women smile. The only woman Phillip had ever really known  was his mother he had never had a steady girlfriend or dating many women.

As the years passed the secretaries became younger and due to technology fewer. The typing pool was renamed as “The Word Processing Room”. The girls did more or less the same job as far as Phillip could see but now instead of seeing plies of paper and hearing the clattering of typing keys Phillip saw screens, typewriters and giant tape recorders. The language of the office seemed to change; flip charts and folders were replaced with overhead projectors, films and tape recorders. The 1980´s were a confusing time for Phillip and many of Brothers in The City but he took everything in his stride and got on with his job. These documents still had to read and signed. Phillip knew in his heart of hearts that foot soldiers like him and many of the others he was acquainted with in the city would never be replaced

Phillip had never been a worrier he had always taken things in his stride. He had worked hard at Harrow but he was never really regarded to be a top student. On the day of his arrival The Head master Robert Loeline James noticed that Phillip Bedford’s school file had a blue stamp on it. There was no insignia, letters or words just a blue printed stamp. This blue stamp would normally indicate that the child was of Royal blood or the son of some dignitary. As far as Mr. James knew Young Mr. Bedford was neither. Nonetheless Phillip was a pupil of denote and should be regarded as such.

This would mean No bullying, No unnecessary detention or attention. All his class work should be marked favourably. The Head Boy and House Master would always keep an eye on him to make sure that he was not intimated, bullied or led astray by older boys. There had been some mistakes made in the past which meant that some children of families had not had the best of times at the school. These mistakes should not ever be repeated. The boys and their families always had their futures to consider. If a boy at the school happened to bully a captain of industries son or a future King then this could have devastating consequences for the boy and his family in the years to come. The Blue Stamp protected Phillip and gave him an automatic place at Oxford.

Four

As Phillip sat there, on that late summers evening in his garden he started once again to think about his mother and reminisce a little about his life. Phillip took his second beer from underneath the table he opened it and poured it slowly into the glass. When he was perfectly satisfied that he now had the perfect pint he took a sip he put the glass back on the table and smiled. Phillip then put his hand into his shirt pocket and took out a tin of Henri Wintermans cigars. His mother always hated him smoking in the house but would often sit outside with Phillip whilst he smoked a cigar. He remembered his mother’s attitude to cigar smoke. Every time she smelt a cigar it reminded her of Winston Churchill Phillip lit his cigar and then turned to his left where his mother always sat and blew five smoke rings. This was always followed by a round of applause by Agnes. Agnes didn’t wholeheartedly approve of respectable women smoking but she did find smoking an attractive trait in a man.

For a brief moment Phillip saw in his mind’s eye Agnes’s smile and he remembered her voice. Phillip also started to recall the morning of Saturday January 30^th 1965 when he and his mother attended the funeral of Sir Winston Churchill. It was cold that day and they had to get up early to avoid the big rush. Phillip and his mother stood there silently at the front of the line close to St Paul’s cathedral and waited for the Funeral cortege to come by. Phillip had never seen so many people before that day. The soldiers and sailors all looked directly in front as they marched slowly past. The March bands played softly and they got a glimpse of the Union Flag draped Gun Carriage. Agnes wiped a tear from her eye. Phillip had never seen his mother cry before; this made him sadder than the funeral itself. They waited until the coffin was carried up into St Paul’s and then they made their way home.

The first thing Agnes did when they got home was to turn on the radio to find out how the day went. That image brought a smile to Phillip’s face as he took a sip from his glass again and sat deeply back into his chair.

Phillip then remembered that big day when his mother actually bought a television. It was a rental VHF television that Agnes had ordered from Radio Rentals. It couldn’t get BBC2 but the other two channels were loud and clear

Sir Winston’s funeral wasn’t the only thing they shared. Agnes and Phillip were together nearly six decades. There were crises, mini wars, weddings and funerals. Agnes could never imagine not sharing any of these experiences without her son. They waited patiently with all the other royals and patriots for the happy couples to arrive at the Cathedral or stood there solemnly and waited for different coffins to go slowly past.

Agnes was neither a socialist nor a capitalist she had no interest in politics but she never missed an election and felt that it was her patriotic duty to vote. Agnes always voted for the incumbent party in Local, National, and European and By-elections. Agnes had a simple philosophy that if a Government was in power then they knew best. Phillip was a little more circumspect when it came to voting but throughout the 1980’s until 1997 they voted for the same candidates.

It was very often on these long summer nights that Philip would think back to his school days His memories of Orley Farm School were patchy and vague. Phillip was a border but living in Harrow which meant that he could and did go home every weekend. Orley Farm wasn’t as intensive as Harrow school; they weren’t working towards A levels or a place at University. The pupils were given a goal, in as much as they had to be accepted into Harrow school but most applications from Orley Farm School were successful.

Phillips real and most vivid memories were from Harrow School. By the time he had reached “The Big School” he was thirteen years old. His voice had broken and suddenly he didn’t like his mother coming into the bathroom whilst he was in the bath. Boy’s at thirteen get feelings and desires and their bodies grow sometimes too quick for their minds to comprehend. Phillip shared a room in Lyon’s house with a young man called Michaels. His actual name was Charles Michaels but he hated being called a Right Charley so he simply went by the name Michaels. This made no difference to the school if a teacher was upset with you then he would just use your surname and when he addressed you formally, then the teacher would always use the formal prefix Mister.

The Bursar made a strange choice when he decided to slot the young Bedford in with Michaels. Phillip Bedford was well known for being one of the quietist, none assuming and polite boys at Orley Farm and when it came to Charles Michaels Wetherby they were only too pleased to pass the baton on to Harrow. Michaels was loud, brash and seemed to have very little regard for authority. The feeling among the Masters was that having Michaels board with a well behaved pupil might calm him down a little.

Charles Michaels Wetherby was from New Money, his father was a self made Billionaire. Mr. Wetherby and his father had made a fortune since the armistice of 1918 through building and demolition work in Britain and on The Continent. Phillip met Michaels on the first day of term, they didn’t hit it off at first but after a few weeks of night solitude in their small room the two boys became close friends.  

Michaels was born to rebel, his mother was always busy doing something to try and climb up the social ladder and his father was always traveling, working or just simply making more money.

Michaels had hidden in his trunk a large library of pornography, the year now being 1960 magazines could show a lot more than they use to. Phillip and Michaels spent many hours’ together reading over each other’s shoulder. If a girl was especially attractive then one of them would let out a roar and the other one would try to keep him quiet. Michaels confessed to Phillip that he had never seen a real woman naked and this surprised Phillip as he said

“I’ve seen my mum naked loads of times when I was little. We even had baths together on cold winters. It was nice, cosy. She’s my mum she’s not like one of these girls. They all look a bit common.”

Michaels paused for a moment before saying

“You lucky bastard! I’ve never seen my mum in the buff. I’ll just have to wait until I’m 16 and then I’ll have someone. I’m make them strip naked like they do in the magazines and I’ll just look at them. “

Phillip was in total awe of Michaels, he was a boy that just didn’t care what anyone thought of him. Michaels like his father and grandfather before him, was his own man. When the posh boys tried to bully him he would just strike out first and he would always make them bleed. He would punch them on the nose, the mouth or anywhere about the forehead just hard enough to break the skin. The sight of blood meant that these boys would have to run back to their Dorms to clean up and change their white shirts before the next class. Fighting was not approved of at Harrow unless it was in a ring and no one wanted to stand before the headmaster. It didn’t matter what the crime or misdemeanor you would always end up bending over. The prefects, masters and housemasters had a simple system, whenever they saw or encountered misbehaviour. There were three clears signs that showed their discontent. The first sign was a quiet but still audible cough; the second was a clearing of the throat and the third and very last warning calling out a boy’s name. This action Last Warning meant that more drastic action could be taken. 

The posh boys didn’t like New Money boys and they went out of their way to make Young Master Michael’s life a misery. But Michaels knew that if he paid close attention to the movements of all his antagonists’ then he would eventually work out when they were at their most vulnerable.  This stalking tactic worked and he was soon able to confront everyone who tried to bully him on an equal footing and alone. This exercise also had the added bonus of making most of the posh boys nervous about being alone and a little more cautious when it came to bullying less privileged pupils.

Every time Michaels went home he came back with a whole new collection of adult magazines. He told Phillip that his dad and his granddad had stacks of them and they even had some from France. They would snuggle up together in one bed, put the cover over and read under torchlight so that the House Master wouldn’t see a light on. When they had seen and read enough they would just roll over and go to sleep. Sometimes in the middle of the night one or the other would climb back into their own bed.

 Michaels and Phillip became inseparable; they were the best of friends. Sometimes they would spend weekends together at either household. If Philip spent part of the weekend at Michaels’s home then that was actually easier for Agnes because she always worked a half day Saturday at The Post office.

If Michaels stayed at Phillip’s home for a weekend then that was fine with Michael’s parents they had sent him away to school to get rid of him anyway.  The half term and full term breaks were the worst for the two young men, they missed each other’s company. These were two boys who really loved one another, this was their first Bromance.

Five

 It was a binary relationship where the two boys cared equally for one another. In all the books that they had read together the man and the woman had sex; this was the only combination between two people. The whole school had heard rumours of older boys being sent home and never seen again. The serious nature of their rule breaking was never discussed there was just rumour and innuendo. The stories that went around the school were incredible none of these stories could be believed. One boy said

“No, nobody would do that to a person. Kissing? With tongues that sounds very unhygienic. I could never do that and I’ve never seen anyone else do that. There must be some other reasons. There are many explanations as to why a boy might be sent home for good.”

There was a nod of agreement in the assembly and then more important things were hastily discussed.

It was in their third year at Harrow that Charles Michaels started to smoke this was to annoyance of Master Phillip Bedford. Although smoking was allowed at the school for all boys over sixteen, with parental consent Michaels decided not to tell his parents and therefore sought no permission from the school.  

Harrow school covers an area of 300 acres, which meant that there was always somewhere secluded enough for Michaels to have a sly cigarette. Phillip accompanied his friend whenever he would want to sneak away to indulge in his new secret vice. All the boys knew where all the secret smoking spots were and they would occasionally stumble across younger boys trying to put out their cigarettes and blow away the smoke.

“What’s going on here then?”

Michaels would use his sternest adult voice as the young smokers would try and hide somewhere before running away for fear of being punished. Michaels would then smile broadly and speak softly

“Go on you little tikes run back to your houses and don’t let me catch you here again”

There was always a sound of rustling bushes, trees and branches followed by a silence. This silence meant for Michaels that coast was clear for him to light up his own cigarette. Michaels didn’t smoke a particular brand and sometimes he would even have a cigar and he would always offer his friend a puff or his own cigarette Phillip always politely but firmly refused. Phillip had promised his mother that he would not smoke until he started University and he and Agnes always kept their promises to each other.

This constant refusal caused some friction between the two boys and one day this friction boiled over to fight between them. The fight wasn’t serious it was more like a Roman wrestling match as each boy tried to knock or pull the other boy down onto the ground. Michaels was victorious and Phillip fell crashing down onto the grass. Michaels leapt on top of his friend and started to slap him softly of his face and messed up Phillip’s finely combed hair. Michaels then started to tickle his friend and they both rolled over in the grass tickling one another and laughing.

Michaels rolled over again on top of his friend they both paused for a moment and stared into each other’s eyes. Phillip started to feel a little uneasy his friend was suddenly a little too close. Michaels just smiled at his friend tweaked his nose and said

“You are such a tosser. Let’s get back before we are missed” 

Feeling somewhat relieved Phillip get up brushed down his clothes as best he could and then both boys walked back to their House.

When they got back to the house they were met at their bedroom door by a prefect. It was one of the posh one’s that Michaels had given a bloody nose to and he had a broad grin on his face as he said to both boys

“You’re in for it now. You little plebs. Come with me”

The smiling prefect led the two boys to the Housemasters room. He knocked on the door and then stood there silently smiling at the Housemaster. The Housemaster gave the prefect a brief glance and then said.

“Right! Sod off Hargreaves. You’ve done your job. You two boys come in here close the door , you know where to stand”

Phillip and Michaels did exactly as they were told and stood slightly to attention in front of the Housemasters desk. As pupils at a public school they had learned that when a teacher told you to do something then you just did it. Perhaps in another school one of the boys would have protested and maybe ask what was going on? But this was Harrow School so the two boys just stood there in silence and waited. The housemaster then leant forward and asked Phillip and Michaels to blow out. The two boys did so the teacher then sniffed the exhaled air sat back in his chair

 The two boys were then asked to empty out their pockets. Phillip’s pockets were innocent enough. He had a pen in his inside jacket pocket and penknife in his back trouser pocket. Michaels had a packet of Woodbines and an expensive ivory lighter. He also had ten pounds in cash and a packet of chewing gum. Gum of in any shape form or flavour was deeply frowned upon within the school walls or gardens by teachers and the ground staff

The Housemaster knew that Charles Michaels did not have written permission from the school or his parents to smoke at the school and neither did his accomplice Phillip Bedford. He ordered both boys to report to the custos first thing in the morning, this would give him time to discuss this matter with The Head Master. He then told the boys to go to their room The Housemaster confiscated the lighter, the cigarettes and the chewing gum.  The master then pointed to the door Phillip and Michaels gave the master a bow then turned and left his office.

The following morning a 7am the two boys reported to the Custo.  The Custo was a man who doled out none corporal punishment to the boys sent to him. These punishments could include litter picking on the streets of Harrow or cleaning out the roof gutters at one of the low pavilions on the grounds. The work was hard and sometimes dirty but always necessary tasks, there were no jobs just made up for naughty boys. They would work from 7 until 8:30 sharp because their school work should not suffer due to this punishment. Phillip and Michaels reported to the Cutso for three days without fail.

On day three, The Custo told them that they didn’t have to come again until maybe the next time. The two boys rushed back to their room to get changed to be in the hall on time for The Morning Assembly. At the end of assembly a young first year ran over to them and delivered an envelope to each of them. In the enclosed envelope were two letters, one was the minutes to a staff and governors meeting and the other was a summons to the headmasters office straight after assembly.

Needless to say, the two young men rushed without running to The Headmasters office. They were met at the headmasters door by the school secretary and he bad them to wait outside until they were called in one at a time. After a five minute anxious wait the door opened and Phillip Bedford was asked to come in to the office. There was a large settee and two armchairs at the far end of Headmaster James’s office and sitting in one of the chairs was the ever stern faced Bursa.

The Bursa didn’t teach at the school but he wielded a great deal of power and influence, seated together on the settee was the housemaster and the groundkeeper. Headmaster James had also kindly invited Phillip’s mother Agnes to the proceedings. The head master had Phillips dossier in his hand and he closed it and laid it down on the table. It was clear to everyone in the room the significance of the innocent small blue stamp on the cover. It was therefore imperative that any decision made this day should be clear, honest and totally transparent.

Headmaster James pressed the intercom button on his desk and asked the school secretary to come in. The secretary’s function was made very clear; he was to write down every word uttered in that room today and then type it out in full with no redactions.

Phillip was asked to kindly to stand and face the gathering. The secretary sat on a chair behind him by the headmaster’s desk ready to feverishly write down everything that was said. Headmaster James went over to sit in the remaining armchair and then the meeting began. The headmaster asked his first question

“Now Mr. Bedford, this school has a reputation to uphold as an honest honourable school of learning and every year we turn out men of honour and integrity we cannot and will not abide liars or scoundrels”

Agnes put up her hand to protest but as she did so Headmaster James winked and smiled at her putting his index finger to his lips. He then carried on speaking.

“So young man, we at the school have always looked on you as a hardworking pupil and a calming influence to your friend and roommate Charles Michaels. Today, we just want you to tell the truth and that is all. Do you understand this Phillip because as the good Lord tells us in The Gospel of St John verse 8 line 32 The truth Will Set You Free! Now speak Boy speak”

Phillip answered as loud as his nervous dry throat would let him

“Yes Sir I understand”

Headmaster James continued

“Good! Now young man Just a simple yes or no will suffice for most of my questions so that we can this matter settled as quickly as possible. Do you or have you ever smoked?”

Phillip answered with pride

“No Sir I don’t, you see I promised ……….”

Headmaster James stopped the young man in mid flow and continued

“Just yes or no! Thank you Bedford. Three days ago you and your friend Mr. Michaels were seen together hiding behind some bushes by the old Hockey pavilion. There were clear plumes of smoke seen by this viewer and there was a distinct smell of cigarettes. I’ll make this simple so that you don’t have to incriminate yourself. Were you smoking a cigarette behind the bushes that day?

Phillip paused for a moment the headmaster raised his eyebrows and as he did this both Phillip and Headmaster James took a brief glance at Agnes Phillip’s answer was then swift and precise

“No Sir I wasn’t sir”

Headmaster James seemed to take a breath enormous of relief as he said

“That’s fine Bedford you may go now. However I will recommend that you visit The Custo for the next seven days. You can start tomorrow and you will be finished next Friday. This is a lesson to you for putting us all through this. You may go now. I’ll even give you permission to go home with your mother for tonight. The Bursa’s driver will pick you up first thing tomorrow morning.”

Phillip was confused but he smiled and said

“Thank you sir”

Agnes stood up from her chair she took Phillip by the hand. Agnes thanked all the assembled and then she and Phillip went home. They passed Michaels on their way out but both boys knew that they were not allowed to talk to each other Phillip gave Michaels a thumbs up and then Phillip and Agnes left through the main entrance.

Six

Back in the garden Philip put his glass down on the table and began to think about the night he found out what happened to his friend that day. This mystery took thirty years to solve Phillip only found out the whole story when he bumped into his dear old friend in a hotel bar thirty years later.

It was one of his bank colleagues birthday. It was a Big one, it was his 30^th birthday and the bank had rented a bar at the Park Lane Hotel. Phillip felt so old and out of place among all these bright young MBA graduates that he decided to pop next door to the public bar just inside the foyer. He knew that he wouldn’t be missed for quite some time and he could always pop back in later. The Bank’s board always insisted that he and the other director associates should attend every function happy or sad.

The board felt that an appearance from someone from “The Old Guard”, that is to say one who remembers rationing, gave this traditional old bank an air of inclusion. The truth was that this old bank was created by elitists, run by elitists and most of their personal clients were elitist. The Bank dealt with international commerce during twentieth century because there just wasn’t enough money in Britain anymore. They took their wealth where they could find it.

This young banker who was being spoiled rotten by his rich employer his one special day could be replaced by fifteen other equally as talented MBA bankers in a matter of hours. This lucky young man was not a member of the elite Phillip sat down on a bar stole and deliberately ordered a pint in a pint glass. The barman glared at him as he left the bar area to collect a pint glass. He came back with a scowl poured Phillips pint and then asked pointedly

“I suppose now that you’ll want a packet of crisps or some Pork Scratchings and I’m sorry that we don’t have a dart board and I don’t keep dominoes behind the bar”

Phillip wanted to smile and probably if the young barman had not been so insolent he would have carried on banter fencing with the young man all night. Phillip however could tell by the young man’s demeanor and tone that he wasn’t trying to be funny. The barman was actually trying to talk down to him and Phillip doubted that he was the first man this nasty barman had been rude to. The barman was a snob and he didn’t need to be. Phillip worked for a prestigious London Bank and this young twat worked behind a bar Phillip started to get very annoyed at this young upstart. He was about to voice his displeasure when a complete stranger tweaked his nose and said

“You are such a tosser”

Phillip was completely taken aback. Thoughts went racing through his mind

“What the Devil? How dare you? Who do you think you are?”

Phillip turned to face his assailant He didn’t know who it was. Standing in front of him was a well clothed but badly dressed middle aged man. He had a Goatee beard slightly balding and from what Phillip could tell he had a ponytail. As he opened his mouth to speak the man spoke and as he spoke he began to recognise his voice.

“Yes you old tosser it’s me. Michaels I’m a lot older, heavier, wiser a lot richer. How’s it going my old mucker? It’s been a long time.”

Phillip said nothing at first he just took Michaels by the hand and started to shake it furiously and then he put his hand on Michaels shoulder and pulled him close to him. The barman cleared his throat as he did so Phillip looked at him sternly and said

“I’ll have you in a minute, just get on with your business “

Phillip then turned to Michaels and spoke

“How are you Michaels? I still miss you even after all these years. What happened? Where did you go and Why? Why didn’t you keep in touch or return my calls? I was proper gutted” 

Michaels looked away for a moment and then back again to Phillip and tried to answer his old roommate’s questions

“It took me nearly twenty years to forgive you. In some ways you did me a favour. I finished off my schooling at Windermere. It was still the arse end of nowhere but there was sailing and quite a few local girls and a lot of open country. Oxford wouldn’t have me after I was expelled from Harrow so my dad shipped me off to Princeton University, New Jersey. I was an hour from New York with trains every 15 minutes. I loved it, my English charm went over a bundle and I left with an MBA. I tell you after Harrow a degree course in America was a ride in the park. I’ve had a good thirty odd years since you ratted me out. Like I said I forgave you. I woke up one morning after a wild party in New York and thought to myself yep this is the day that I forgive Bedford.”

Phillip was confused and protested his innocence

“I didn’t rat you out I didn’t mention you. I just came back to our room the next day and you were gone. Old Jamesy sent me home with my mum and got The Bursa’s driver to pick me up the next morning. It felt great being chauffeured through the grounds up to The House. I got to our room and they had taken your name off the door and all your things were gone. There were no new applicants that year or the years after of kids our age so I spent the next year and a half on my own. Tell me what happened.”

Michaels nodded and began tell the story of their last day together. Phillip knew the beginning but he let his friend tell his story in his own way and in his own time. After Phillip and Mrs. Bedford left. The young man was escorted into the headmasters Study by the school secretary. The furniture hadn’t been moved around but an extra chair had been placed at one side of the settee for The School Caretaker. Charles Michaels was asked to stand in front of the assembly and hear the charges against him read out aloud Michaels’s parents couldn’t be there so his father had told his General Manager Mr. Dobbs to stand in for him. He had met Mr. and Mrs. Dobbs once or twice at works parties but Mr. Dobbs was not even remotely part of the family.

From how Michaels described the proceedings, his meeting was a lot more adversarial than Phillips. It was like he was guilty before he entered the room. It seemed that some first year snitch had seen Michaels that day and other days smoking by the pavilion and had reported him to his housemaster. This particular housemaster had several such informants at the school. He looked after their interests and wellbeing and they gave him information about his pupils good and bad.

This information could be used to support and guide certain pupils or be used at a later date if the pupil tried to rebel against any school protocols. The first witness statement was damming enough to warrant a suspension or exclusion but there was more. The Head grounds man had swept up and kept as evidence some cigarette ends found by The Old Pavilion. The cigarette ends having no filter were assumed to be Woodbines and as packet of Woodbines was confiscated from Mr. Michaels room. There was more testimony given by the School Caretaker. He and his staff had been busy over the last few weeks trying to peel used chewing gum from under tables, chairs and window sills around the school. It was unfortunate for Michaels that the only pupil at the school was to be found to be in possession of Chewing Gum. That pupil was young Mr. Michaels. This evidence although compelling was still just circumstantial and could not be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The discovery of pornography in Michaels’s trunk was beyond reasonable doubt. The entire library was tipped out onto the floor by the headmaster for the whole room to see this physical evidence. Michaels felt sure that Mr. Dobbs recognised some of the magazines especially the builder’s merchant’s calendar.

After all the evidence was presented, the Bursa and The Headmaster came to the decision to expel Mr. Charles Michaels from Harrow school.

A formal letter of from the school would be sent in the post tomorrow morning to Mr. Michaels’s parents. In the mean time a Prefect and the housemaster would escort Mr. Michaels over to the house to clear out his room. An hour later Mr. Dobbs drove Charles Michaels out the front gate and back home to his parents.  After he had finished his story Michaels then turned to Phillip and said

“This all happened because you dogged me in about the smoking to get yourself out of trouble. I couldn’t fail but see you and your mum making a quick getaway after they had interviewed you”

Phillip protested his innocence

“I didn’t dog you in. It was a first year. The little creep wanted to get in well with the teachers so he became a little tattle tale. He didn’t realise that most of the teachers had also been to public school and they couldn’t stand a tell tale tit. He probably wasn’t their only snitch but he was one who was discovered and he learnt his lesson. I don’t know what became of him he most likely works for MI5 a lot of those Cambridge blocks did. I didn’t follow the progress of anyone I was at the school with. I did however read about your family business in The FT now and again and I wondered where you were.”

Michaels gave a visible and audible sigh of relief, all these years he had suspected his first closest friend of being a traitor. His tone became warmer as he said

“I’m glad that’s finally sorted out because even after all these years I’ve missed you sometimes. I mean, we did have a laugh sometimes. School days The Best Days of Your Life I don’t think”

While the two men were in conversation Phillip became aware of a third person in their company. There was beautiful woman sitting on a bar stole next to Michaels Phillip whispered in his friends ear

“Don’t look now Old Chap! Beautiful bird at six o’clock your time Three o’clock mine”

Michaels turned around to look at this beautiful bird and then laughed

“That’s no bird Bedford that’s my fiancée. Ruth come and meet an old tosser friend of mine from Harrow”

Phillip then glared at the barman and said

“Yes we both went to Harrow!”

He then looked away and Michael’s carried on with the introduction

“This is my oldest friend that you’ve never heard about. Young Master now Mister Phillip Bedford and his dad was a war hero Ruth, Phillip and Phillip Ruth. Now that’s over with , Ruth darling I would love to stay here for a few moments more to catch up a little I tell you what , do want to go up to the suite and freshen up or do you want to do a little shopping? Here take my wallet just don’t spend too much men don’t like extravagant wives, well this one doesn’t. If I want a drink or a bit to eat I can just charge it to the room”

Ruth smiled and nodded and then put out her hand out to Phillip. He wasn’t sure whether to shake it or kiss it. He chose to take her hand and shake it gently. Ruth then said to Michaels I’ll go upstairs to freshen up and I’ll hold onto your wallet we don’t want you losing it again. I remember where it was found last time in Soho outside that brothel and all your cash was gone. You were lucky to keep all your credit cards. So please don’t get drunk and please don’t stay here all night.”

Michaels stood up and then stood to attention, he saluted Ruth much to her annoyance which was clearly visible and he said

“I’ll be up soon, sober and in a great mood”

He then blew her a kiss Ruth however stood there and waited for Michaels to come over and kiss her. He did so and then turned away embarrassed and then took the long walk back to his friend’s side. Ruth smiled waved and then got into the lift. Phillip didn’t say anything but the silence was very loud. Michaels eventually spoke

“Alright you’ve had your fun, now let’s just leave it”

Phillip was covering up a smile. This wasn’t part of the manly code that they had devised as boys. A big part of that code was that a woman should not tell you what to do, unless it was your mum or matron. Michaels had broken the uneasy silence now Phillip felt obliged to talk. These were two boyhood friends who hadn’t seen each other for over thirty years Phillip had so many questions. It was a fair bet that Michaels’s life had been far more interesting than his own. He began

“So you’re getting married to Ruth? She’s a Cracker I can see that she likes you. You’re a lucky Bugger”

Michaels answer surprised and disheartened Phillip

“Yes she’s fine; my last three fiancées were also fine. It’s not my good looks, charm or personality they go for, it’s my family money. What these girls don’t realise is I won’t be seeing any money for a long time. My granddad still alive, kicking and swearing. My dad isn’t going anywhere so I’m just sitting here at the bottom of the totem pole earning a wage plus the odd bonus. It always takes them about a year before they realise that my dad and granddad are immortal. This realisation tends to put a strain on my relationships and then it’s just a matter of time”

There was resignation in his voice tinged with sadness. Phillip was truly sad for his friend’s plight. This was a man who seemed to have so much but he could never keep hold of it. The two men just carried on talking about their lives with each other.  Michaels told Phillip about the places he had been to and his wild parties in New York. It was clear to Phillip that his friend Michaels had been living for the last thirty years and that he had just been alive. Phillip was envious of his friend’s life so far but he couldn’t bring himself to feel bitter. It’s all about the choices one makes and then living with the consequences. Phillip then looked up at the clock and realised that he had been away from the party a lot longer than he had meant to be. It was time to leave his friend again and maybe they would meet up again someday, he might even get an invite to the wedding. Phillip put out his hand to his friend to wish him well Michaels pushed his hand away and gave his friend a hug

“Come here you Tosser and keep in touch. Here’s my card I’ll write down my private number as well. Stay safe”

The two men let go of each other and then went their separate ways. They hadn’t missed Phillip at the party. The young crowd had grown louder and merrier. The young man in question the birthday boy had started at the bank straight from university just as Phillip had thirty odd years before.  The difference was that this young man knew how to make money and as an added bonus for the bank he had no conscience

Phillip sat alone at the table and thought about his not so interesting past. It was clear that for all the party revelers the night was young. He had taken his pint glass with him from the foyer and presented it to the barman and said

“Fill it up”

The party at the hotel seemed to have lasted forever and it looked like it was going to last forever and a day. Phillip had put in his appearance and now this older man wanted to go home. He went next door to the foyer bar again and the same Barman stood there. His entire body language said that he was looking for an excuse to throw Phillip out of his bar and subsequently the hotel. The barman had no idea how much money the bank had laid out tonight for this party and it was still paying. The barman also didn’t realise that Phillip was to sign the cheque. He had some idea that being older and on his own that he was some old queen looking for a rent boy. The barman was renowned for his prejudices and vivid imagination

Phillip didn’t bother talking to the barman at first. He just pointed at him, lifted his head back and then beckoned for him to come over just using his index finger. The barman ignored Phillip and started to dry some glasses. Phillip thought for a moment and let out a sigh. He then walked up to one of the courtesy phones and pressed zero.  The barman protested

“Oi Mate them phones are only for guests. Can I see your key please?”

Phillip was tired and all he wanted to do was to see the duty manager give him a cheque and then try and make the last train back to Harrow and Wealdstone

“Hello this is Phillip Bedford could I speak to the duty manager please”

By the time Phillip had finished asking his question the barman had left his bar and was standing next to him and he asked again only this time more forcibly

“I’d like you to show me your room key now mate, please”

At that instant the duty manager answered his phone.

“Hello Simon Rodriguez here. How can I help you?”

Phillip put the phone in front of his face and said loudly

“This is Phillip Bedford from the City bank I’d like to give you a cheque for tonight but first could you have a word with your barman”

Phillip handed him the phone. The barman’s tone changed drastically as he fumbled and mumbled his way through this difficult conversation

“Yes Mr. Rodriguez. No Mr. Rodriguez. Just a slight misunderstanding but I’m sure there’s no harm done Good night Mr. Rodriguez”

The barman’s face colour was a little paler than he had been as he handed Phillip the phone

“Fine meet me in the foyer I’m sure I have time for one more pint before I leave and we can discuss other business “

The barman poured Phillip a pint and then sat down at the far end of the bar. A smiling young man Mr. Simon Rodriguez arrived a few moments later. Phillip gave the duty manager a cheque plus a deposit to cover anymore expenses with the balance to be biked over to the bank the next morning. With the meeting concluded to everybody’s satisfaction Phillip left to catch his last train home.

Philip just managed to catch that precious last train. If he had missed it he could have got a taxi home, the bank would have paid. But Phillip was a conscientious man, who didn’t like to waste money.

Seven

It was now starting to get a little cold in the evenings and older men feel the cold more than they used to Phillip emptied his second glass of beer and went inside the house. He put the glass in the dishwasher and then went upstairs to bed. Phillip walked passed his mum’s room; he didn’t go in there very often.  As a couple Agnes and Philip had always respected each other’s space Agnes would go into Phillips room but she wouldn’t hang around. The reasons for being there were simple and uncomplicated, strip bed, change bed linen and on the odd occasion, when warranted Hoover the floor and dust around a little. These were usually the only reasons why Phillip entered his mother’s old room.

The next morning however Phillip went once again into his mother’s old room. Agnes had like many young women at that postwar time, written a journal. It took Philip many years to build up the courage to open the pages of this book. When Phillip finally opened the journal he found very little written within its pages to shock him. There was no mention of Phillip’s father there were just pages filled with dates, times and shopping lists. There was a brief reference to the day that Young master Michaels was expelled from Harrow. Agnes hadn’t written about the day in great detail but what she had written stirred up some vivid memories for Phillip.

Phillip cast his mind back to the last day that he saw his friend Michaels. He and Agnes gone home after the interview they listened to the radio together and then went to bed. The Bursa’s driver arrived at 8 o’clock to drive him to the school and then Phillip went into the house and up to his room. There was only one name now, chalked on the board outside his room and that was his own. Phillip went in and apart from the bed and a couple of sticks of furniture the other side of the room was empty. The reason why the headmaster sent him home last night was now clear to him. His friend Michaels was destined to be expelled; in fact the headmaster had already made up his mind before the interview. Phillip felt like just leaving Harrow and never coming back. If this was how England’s elite treated those people they didn’t like then he wanted no part in this game of snobbery. The posh kids all hated Michaels and the teachers were all posh he wondered who might be the next common person to be thrown out  The house bell rang out as it did every morning for the start of lessons or assembly but Phillip remembered just putting on his blazer straightening his tie and going to assembly.

The next few weeks after were uncomfortable for Phillip, this discomfort was exacerbated by his impression he had that no one would speak to him. When it came to sport he was injured more times during this time period than ever before.

 It was matron who during one of his frequent visits to her office told Phillip that he had been labeled a snitch and a tattle tale by one of the boys. No one knew the entire story and full details were a little vague but a misheard school story is like Chinese whispers. The details of the story change from mouth to mouth until it becomes “Gods Own Truth”

If there one lesson Phillip learned from his ex roommate Michaels. it was always you should always confront your enemy. Phillips enemies in this case were misinformation, innuendo and lies. It was after seeing matron that Phillip decided to confront an obvious rumor spreader. This rumour monger happened to be one of the posh boys and as well as being a snob he was also a coward and a bully. Giles Standish Jones the third would never dream of bullying a first year on his own.

The Standish Jones initiation ceremony always required at least three boys to carry out this cruel unnecessary ritual. There were always two larger boys to hold the youngster down or up against a wall whilst Giles welcomed him to the school and told them from their first day that they should always remember their place. Giles did wield a lot of power in the house and the other boys felt compelled to listen to him. Phillip didn’t want to be his friend but at the same time he did not want to have to visit Matron every week for the next year.

 It was five o’clock and this was study time which meant that most boys would be alone somewhere in the house with a book. The house would quiet and the housemaster would not tolerate any disturbances. Phillip knew exactly where Giles would be and at five minutes past five he left his room to quietly confront one of his secret accusers. Phillip crept up the stairs and opened and closed Giles bedroom door slowly and quietly. Giles had his back to him sitting at a table with an open magazine. It quickly became apparent to Phillip that Giles was not actually reading this magazine he was reacting to it. Phillip whispered to Giles

“I hope I’m not disturbing something important”

As a very white faced Giles turned to face Phillip, he put his finger to his mouth and a closed fist to his groin. Giles wasn’t sure what to do first. He couldn’t stand up and face his uninvited voyeur. He quickly reached down to lift his trousers up and closed the magazine in almost one swift action. He then turned around angrily to face Phillip. Giles also whispered as he spoke to Phillip

“What the bloody hell do you want? This is Study Hour you should be in your room. I’ll report this to the Housemaster at six o’clock”

Nobody dared to confront the Housemaster at this time because it would mean leaving their rooms without permission. In Harrow there was little room when it came to breaking the rules for any reason. Phillip seemed unperturbed by Giles threat not after what he had just seen. He said with a broad grin,

“That’s fine because when I get a moment I’ll write on every wall in the school that Giles Standish Jones is a Wanker. It might be wiser for you to give me a moment and I’ll tell you why I’m here”

Giles nodded and then Phillip told him exactly what happened in the headmaster’s office and that he was not a tattle tale snitch. When Phillip was finished Giles nodded and said

“Alright Bedford I’ll see what I can do but not a word about the other thing Kapish?”

Phillip nodded and smiled. He had said enough and he didn’t want to take the chance that a prefect was walking by and listening. This was supposed to be the quiet time. He opened Giles’s door slowly and had a quick look around, the coast seemed clear so Phillip sneaked back into his room.

The next couple of weeks were a little unusual some of the boys believed in Phillip’s innocence and others were not so sure. There was still a small group determined to injure Phillip in every sport no matter what they played and there was a rival group trying to protect him. Matron and her nurses were busy patching up theses two rival groups and Phillip was completely unharmed. It was the same in class or in break times some welcomed Phillip’s company and others still shunned him.

It took a while but eventually the teachers became aware of the heightening tensions. Phillip’s Housemaster was summoned to the Headmasters office for a chat and hopefully a solution that would avoid the necessity of corporal punishing the entire school. The Housemaster’s suggestion of expelling Phillip Bedford was ruled out without any need for further comment. The headmaster came up with his own solution. He then, without further comment turned his suggestion into an edict.

The Housemaster would have to serendipitously reveal to one of his boys the real identity of his informant. This was an outrageous suggestion, his little Band of Irregulars ever trust him again. The housemaster over the years had purposely groomed many a young first year pupil to be his eyes and ears at the school and in the house. He couldn’t possibly betray these young boys’s trust. The Headmaster said three words and then pointed to his door

“Just Do it!”

The housemaster told some boys to be outside his office at 4 o’clock because he wanted to discuss their timetables. At 3:57 there were three boys waiting patiently outside his slightly ajar door. One minute later there arrived another small group of boys. They could hear the Housemaster talking on the telephone. This chance to eavesdrop didn’t come very often, so each boy listened attentively to the call. The housemaster wasn’t actually talking to anyone but with the door almost completely closed the boys couldn’t tell the difference

“Yes Headmaster Young Emery’s help was invaluable but of course not a word to the boys. I’ll make sure that his parents receive a favourable school report this year. I’ll have to go sir I have some boys outside my office. Yes sir, good bye sir. Come in Boys”

The two words “Invaluable Help” were enough to try, convict and punish Young Master Emery even in absentia. After the word went out everybody wanted to talk to Young Emery. They wanted to blame him for every punishment that they had received that year. This wasn’t fair but then neither was the makeshift Kangaroo court that had been set up in the House Study room. There were two lookouts at the door and the proceedings were held at a whisper but nonetheless a verdict was reached.

“We the Judges and The Jury find the defendant Emery guilty and he should be punished”

The word went out to find young Emery and bring him back to the house to face his Peers and his punishment. There was frenzy in the air. It was like everyone was really after Young Emery’s blood. Phillip had a rough idea to where Emery might be hiding. He had been following Phillip and Michaels around the grounds. Phillip knew that the young boy had no hidden agenda when he started following two older boys around. Emery was just lonely, far from home and needed just a little bit of security. The Housemaster took advantage of this timid young man and promised him more than he could deliver.

They were only boys actually out for revenge and an excuse to punish someone. These boys wanted to hurt someone just to help ease their own problems and neurosis’s. But given the anger and hysteria stirred up by the mob Young Master Emery was in real danger.

Phillip eventually found young Emery he was hiding, trembling up a tree. Phillip asked him to come down and he assured Young Emery that he wouldn’t hurt him. Phillip had to give Emery his word as a gentleman and a gentleman never goes back on his word. Emery jumped down onto the ground and stood before Phillip. The poor young boy was shaking with fear Phillip put his arms around Emery to try and calm him down which is not what boys normally did. It was more common for boys of Phillips age to shake hands or rustle another boy’s hair; cuddles were a woman’s thing. The young boy froze as Phillip tried to comfort him and broke away from Phillip. Young Emery stood with his back to the tree making sure that there was some safe distance between them. The young boy’s actions and reactions confused Phillip he was only trying to help and comfort Young Emery Phillip then spoke to the younger boy.

“Calm down Emery I’m here to help I don’t want to hurt you I just want to make sure that you’re safe and nothing more. I’ll take you to The Bursa’s office and then we’ll talk to the Headmaster. Come on. Let’s go”

Phillip and Young Emery managed to get to the Bursa’s office unseen. The Bursa seemed very relieved to see Young Master Emery unharmed. He called the Matron and the Headmaster he then thanked Phillip and said that he would deal with everything from here on.

As Phillip was leaving the Matron entered the office with a young nurse and she had a blanket over her arm Phillip nodded, smiled and then left. By the time he had got back to his house the mob had calmed down a little. The search for their prey had been cancelled because Young Emery had been seen at the main building and no one would ever dare to try and touch anybody in The Main Building.

The rest of the evening went by as normal. The boys were all called to prayer at nine o’clock. This was a tradition reinstated by the Housemaster and then after prayers all boys had to be in their rooms until breakfast. During the night there was a slight noise of doors closing and furniture being moved carefully around but the commotion didn’t take too long and no one was deprived of their night’s sleep. The next morning at assembly it was announced that due to personal reasons Phillip’s Housemaster at Newlands would be resigning and that a new housemaster would be moving in at the start of the new term. In the meantime Mr. Rowlands the Math’s Master would take over all pastoral duties at the house until the end of term.

Mr. James then made the unusual announcement that, one of our upper fifth Boys Rupert Smyth had been suddenly called home for a family emergency and would not be returning.

“I would like to, on behalf of the school, wish Mr. Smyth and his family our thoughts and good wishes in this time of obvious crisis”

He then dismissed the assembly

The remaining years of Phillip’s time at Harrow went by without any memorable incidents he left Harrow a school boy and started studying at Oxford as a man.

Eight

Phillip put away Agnes’s journal. It had been a good read, he had read it before the journal held no surprises but reading it meant that Phillip could hear his mother’s voice again. Every word he read reminded him of his mother’s accent and he could see her face as she spoke to him through her private pages

Phillip and Agnes were mother and son but they were also the best of friends they even holidayed together until Agnes just one day said no. She felt that her son deserved to have time to himself and not devote his holiday time to his old mother.

Phillip and Agnes had always lived well and always within their means. They holidayed together in the same town every year from 1951.There was a small hotel in Dovercourt Essex, by the sea. Agnes would also buy them day tickets to The Warner Holiday camp. They had a fine swimming pool free rides and a great fish and chip shop. They would always stay at the hotel instead of Warner’s because it worked out cheaper for bed and board and there was always the town to visit and the beach. Agnes and Phillip would take the bus to Colchester and in 1963 they opened Colchester Zoo. This was a perfect place for a holiday and Phillip always made loads of Summer Holiday friends.

These trips were great until the mid 1970´s Phillip would always arrange his holiday schedule to fit in with his mother’s holiday plans. Even when he was at Oxford he would come back to London pack a bag from home and then off they would go for two glorious weeks in Dovercourt.  In the 1970´s Brits discovered Spain as an affordable holiday destination and it was cheaper than summer holidays in England.

The local businesses tried to make holidays in Essex more attractive but exciting staycation philosophy was not for the likes of traditional holiday makers such as Agnes and Phillip. In the space of one year this small hotel had got bigger. The original owner of the small hotel was a kindly woman Mrs. Jarvis. She was strict but kind and she had three daughters who also worked at the hotel. Phillip didn’t know enough of the whole story to piece together all the full chain of events. But this is what he found out when he and Agnes returned there together for their last stay in 1979.

The owner had been taken ill towards the end of the summer season in 1978. She had somehow caught a dose of Russian Flu

This wasn’t such an unusual occurrence for those who lived in a town so close to a major sea port. Being an Essex girl or boy could sometimes be hazardous to your health. The hotel was immediately quarantined and closed. They had to cancel all bookings and return a lot of money. The hotel had insurance to cover losses or to cover breakages but the policy did not cover a flu outbreak. The insurance company accused the hotel owner of negligence. Mrs. Jarvis confined to her sick bed in an isolation ward didn’t have a realistic chance to launch an appeal against their decision.

After four weeks in isolation and two weeks in intensive care Mrs. Jarvis was released and the hotel was allowed to open again. The only problems now were bills and a bank loan for the mortgage. Mrs. Jarvis didn’t think long and hard over this problem she just put the hotel on the market. The hotel was sold within four weeks and for a price Mrs. Jarvis had never dreamed of. They packed their bags and precious belongings and were out the door and gone in little more than three weeks.

The new owners were a Danish company who had links with DFDS the Danish shipping company. The hotel was emptied of all residents because there were a few people that stayed there all year round. No one was thrown out on the street. This would have been very bad for Public relations. These few people were offered other accommodation temporarily and then given the option to return.

The remodeling then began. A big sign was erected at the front of the old building Anderson Builders and Michaels Renovations. The new owners had also acquired some of the surrounding buildings for their expansion project. Phillip and Agnes knew nothing about this renovation until they arrived outside the hotel in their taxi in July 1980. Agnes had sent her usual telegram and confirmed the booking by phone. She didn’t think that it was odd that the girl answering the telephone had got the name of the hotel wrong. The girl just confirmed the booking said thank you and goodbye.

The hotel was now called Anderson’s Lodge. The front door was now a double door and they went inside. Mrs. Jarvis’s sitting room was now gone. It had been turned into a lounge with seats and tables and in the corner there was a huge television. The old chalk blackboard had been replaced by a slide letter sign. Phillip had always liked those signs but the child inside him always had that urge to change the letters around. There were also painted signs and posters in different languages, he recognised German but the other language was a mystery. Phillip found out later that the language was Danish he didn’t know that there was a Danish language he thought that they all spoke Scandinavian.

Phillip and Agnes stayed at the hotel for their customary two weeks but they were not happy weeks. Agnes was now in her fifties and just wanted to relax for two weeks but she didn’t like staying in the hotel. There were so many foreigners staying there now. Agnes didn’t understand a word they said and they always spoke so loud. There was now a new pool and that was novel so when the weather allowed her to Agnes sat in a deckchair by the pool reading and relaxing. In Phillips case there was now no one to play with. He was thirty three years old so he felt a bit uncomfortable and out of place hanging around the arcades. Warner’s was still there but he didn’t fancy buying a day ticket on his own.

He tried to wander around on his own the year before and this security guard followed his around all day. It was most uncomfortable. Philip and Agnes both ended up staying by the pool reading.  Phillip would dive in now and again then he would sit down in the sun to dry off a little and then continue reading. This was sadly their last holiday in Dovercourt. It was however difficult to find another destination that would suit both parties. Agnes didn’t want to go anywhere too hot or where they didn’t speak English and Phillip wanted to go somewhere, where he could get a pint and go for a drink with the lads.
The following year it was two week British Isles cruise for Agnes and Phillip. It was perfect for the both of them. It was summer so the weather was good, there activities on board. There was a bar and a night club Agnes could relax on deck or go play bingo and Phillip could have a few nights and a few pints with some of the lads.

The first night was a little tense for Phillip, he being the only single man in the bar. There were couples and there were groups but no one seemed to want to let him join them. So he had a couple of beers on his own, sang a karaoke song and then had an early night. He and Agnes shared a cabin; it was a double berth cabin so each of them had their own private sleeping place.

The next evening people were a little friendlier and Phillip was welcomed into a crowd of lads. They were a rugby team from Ealing and they always welcomed new drinkers and New Players. Phillip didn’t know that much about Rugby, at Harrow he had played Hockey and that was many years ago. He didn’t want to offend his new friends so he bought a round in and then agreed to come to training one day in the autumn when the season started again.

This cruise was great for Phillip he was with the lads again and he’d made some new future friends. Agnes liked the holiday because she loved being left alone in her own thoughts but she still joined in sometimes. She worked all day at the post office talking to people, helping people. She was always home in time to have food on the table ready for Phillip when he came home. Phillip was always punctual and if he was going to be delayed he always phoned, he was a good boy. These two weeks on board the ship were just what the doctor ordered for both of them. Agnes and Phillip continued to go on holiday together every year Phillip would never entertain the thought of going on a summer holiday without his mum

Nine

Philip kept his word to his new mates and in the autumn he turned up for a training session on Ealing common. The players he met on the ship ran over and gave him a hug and shook his hand warmly , one saying

“You made it then, let’s show you the ropes”

They were gentle with him at first and then came the strong arm tactics and hard tackles to test how tough Phillip was. It seemed to go well Phillip wasn’t hurt maybe bruised a little but he survived. The team captain came over to Phillip he took him by the hand and pulled him towards him. He said then said in a loud voiced Australian accent

“You’re’ one of us now bro. If you want it it’s yours. The new boy done well”

This was high praise from Maximilian Kelly the team captain of Ealing Trailfinders. Phillip could come back and play if he wanted to. Phillip jumped at the chance to be able to hang around the boys again. He could drink he didn’t have to watch his language. Yes he’d come back alright and he’d never leave. Ealing was only a half an hour train ride. He could finish work go home to his mum get changed and then jump back on the train again.

Phillip played with the boys until 1992 and then the new captain ironically an old Eatonian didn’t want him to play anymore. His name was Miles Jenkins and he wasn’t nasty or rude he just didn’t want the club to take the responsibility of a 45 year old man getting injured during a Rugby match. It seemed that the committee was in full agreement. They just didn’t know how to tell Phillip. That plumb job of informing Phillip was left to Captain Miles Jenkins. Phillip understood their point of view he didn’t like it but he understood.

The team didn’t need a coach or a first aid man, so Phillip just became Ealing Trailfinders biggest fan. He followed them everywhere and after all his years of playing the game he always had so many stories to retell. The team would insist that Phillip should always join them for a drink afterwards.

The team still regarded Phillip as part of the Trailfinders he wasn’t playing anymore but he was like part of the Rugby family. There were no more late night team meetings or boozy club strategy get-togethers for Phillip and he missed being “One of the Boys” this made him sad but he had to accept it.

Phillip was now 45 years old and still single. Anyone who knew him just knew that Phillip was a bachelor and not gay. There were some nice new young faces at work but Phillip didn’t want to seem like some dirty old man trying to hit on young girls. He had seen some of his colleagues do this so many times and it was just embarrassing for them and the young girls.

Phillip had just never met a woman who really understood him. Every woman that he met just seemed to want to make their relationship physical before they even got to know each other. Phillip had never had sex so he didn’t know what he was missing or was going to experience. Phillip just knew that sex before marriage was wrong and he wasn’t going to be forced to go against his principles for a woman who didn’t want to wait and take the trouble of trying to get to know him and his mother.

The years did seem to roll by so quickly for Phillip. He eventually joined his pub football team. It wasn’t as good as rugby but there was no age limit, if you wanted to play you played and there was booze up after the match with the lads. Phillip couldn’t help but notice through his years of living in Harrow that more and more immigrants were moving into the area. He was absolutely not a racist he just couldn’t help but notice all the old traditional shops were being sold and taken over by New Comers to the area.

There was a Newsagents shop at the end of his road that he had gone into since he was a small child on his way to school or home. Phillip had bought many comics and sweets there over the years and now a newspaper and the odd packet of cigars.  It was owned by Mr. Watson he and his wife had run the shop forever they had three children who had left the family business and gone off on their own many years past. Phillip use to pop into the shop almost every day just really to say hello. He always bought something he didn’t need just for an excuse to pop in and pass the time of day. It’s a lonely life working in a Newsagent shop. Phillip did have an actual reason to pop in once a month in order to pay his paper bill.

This monthly event would give Mr. Watson a chance to tell young Master Phillip or now just plain Phillip, any local news or gossip. That day’s big news was that Mr. Watson had sold the shop to a Ugandan Indian family called The Sharma’s and they would be taking over the shop at the end of the month. This news shocked Phillip he had always felt certain that there were always some things in life that would never change. There was Christmas, New Year, The love of his mother and Watson’s The Newsagent.

But to Phillip’s disappointment on the first of the next month there was a new face standing there to greet Phillip as he came in to pay his paper bill. Mr. Sharma had done some homework and he asked Phillip in his very refined crisp Colonial accent if he would like The Financial Times delivered alongside his daily newspaper. Mr. Sharma had noticed that Phillip did get The Economist delivered once a week Phillip thanked Mr. Sharma but he assured him that the bank had plenty of copies of the Financial Times.

Phillip and Mr. Sharma had a cordial relationship. Phillip didn’t feel the need to visit the shop so often anymore but when he did Phillip couldn’t help but notice the changes Mr. Sharma had made. Phillip didn’t mind he just noticed how his local Newsagent was slowly becoming a mini-market. The old window display was now gone and replaced by boxes of Golden Wonder Crisp’s. On the shelves where Mr. Watson had placed his sweet bottles which he dusted every day, there were tins of food. The card racks had been replaced by long, food refrigerators’.  The magazines that had been neatly spread out on desks were now bunched together at the back of the shop by the counter. The desks had been replaced by a rack of food shelves. It was still however relatively easy to maneuver oneself around the shop. In fact Phillip secretly applauded Mr. Sharma’s intuitive and innovative use of a limited space. Phillip and his mother still shopped at Tesco’s and they were not going to change the habits of a lifetime even with Mr. Sharma’s free delivery  for over ten pounds kind service.

Mr. Sharma and Phillip seemed to get on quite well as far as nodding acquaintance relationships go. Then one afternoon on his way home from work Phillip popped into Mr. Sharma’s shop to pay his bill. He also spied a packet of Jaffa cakes and put them down onto the counter Phillip got out his wallet and then asked

“How much do I owe you Mr. Sharma?”

 Mr. Sharma answered and with a smile said

“That’ll be twelve pounds fifty please Phil”

Phillip was more than a little taken aback by Mr. Sharma’s over familiarity. He hardly knew the man and absolutely no one ever called him Phil. Phillip showed Mr. Sharma in no uncertain terms his displeasure at being called by his first name by a shopkeeper and his unhappiness at being called Phil.

“Mr. Sharma I really must protest. As far as I’m aware we are not on first name terms and please never address me again as Phil. As far as you are concerned my name is Mr. Bedford”

Mr. Sharma seemed to be a little confused as he answered Phillip.

“I’m sorry I thought that we were friends. I have known you for some months now and we have shared the odd joke or two I call all my friends by their first name”

Phillip tried to be as diplomatic as he could be, in this situation as he said

“But you see Mr. Sharma, we are not friends. You’re shopkeeper and I am a customer and nothing more. I’m just not use to people from the service industries using my first name. I’ll take another packet of Jaffa cakes and I think that’ll bring my bill up to thirteen pounds”

Phillip took thirteen pounds from his wallet grabbed another packet of Jaffa cakes and then turned around and left the shop. Mrs. Sharma was in the back room making a sandwich for her husband and she had heard every word. She smiled, she actually wanted to laugh but she didn’t dare. No one had ever spoken to her husband like that before.  Mrs. Sharma suddenly had such admiration for Mr. Bedford. Mr. Sharma screamed out to the back room at his wife

“Have you made me my sandwich yet? Did you hear that man? Mr. La-di-da I’m not good enough to use his first name I’m from the service industry. He’s not good enough to wipe my arse and I bet he’s a poof. I’ve never seen a wife and they say he lives with his mother. Mr. La-di-bloody-da. I will not serve him again. He is banned from my shop”

Phillip wasn’t aware of Mr. Sharma’s anger or threat. Mr. Sharma didn’t even cross Phillip’s mind again until the 1^st of the month. Phillip went into the shop as he usually did he said hello Mr. Sharma who just nodded and tried to feign a smile. Phillip just walked into the shop paid his bill and out again without another thought. When Phillip was out of sight Mr. Sharma called to his wife. She ran into the shop with his sandwich on a plate

“No, no, no! Not that but thanks anyway. Do you think he noticed how angry I was?”

His wife smiled and said

“Yes Dear”

He spoke again as a last word on the matter

“Me? Mr. Sandeep Sharma! Service personal! I am a prominent local business man. Mr. La-di-bloody –da Bedford I bet he is a poof. I’ll warn the boys and Neighbourhood Watch”

Mrs. Sharma just turned away to hide her frustration and went back her private sanctuary, the room out back.

Ten

The years rolled on and it was soon and it was now 2016. Phillip had been retired six years. He still played football for the pub team but he was really just a reserve player. It wasn’t that often that he was allowed to kick the ball around. Phillip was still fit, healthy and agile. He had sewn a good crop of close friends; his mum Agnes was still alive and singing. He and Agnes still holidayed together but the brakes that they took together were a little more serene than they were before when they were both young

It was still summer and not long after Phillip’s sixty ninth birthday and The Trailfinders were playing The Harlequins at home. After the match there was the usual after match party. This was followed by a little get-together for a handpicked group of guests to celebrate Phillip’s birthday.

The thing is, most rugby players love parties and when a team of Harlequin rugby players ask you if they can come to your party, it’s always a good idea to say yes. The little get-together became a big get-together. The backroom of The Gunnersbury Arms was filled to bursting as more fans, friends or just party goers tried to get in. There was no trouble or nuisance behaviour. It would be a brave man who would court the displeasure of two rugby teams.

Phillip thanked everyone for the celebration. It had touched his heart that so many people cared enough about him. The party was still going strong when Phillip left the festivities to catch the last tube back to Harrow. The half an hour train journey helped to sober him up a little and it didn’t matter if he dosed off because Harrow was the last stop. He had been woken up more than once by the driver as he checked the carriages. On this occasion Phillip’s slumber was not disturbed. He just sat there on the train running through some memories and still feeling happy and grateful that he had so many close acquaintances that still enjoyed his company.

He also thought for a moment about Philomena. She was the one that got away. He knew that, in his Oxford days, he had loved Philomena. It was just a shame that Philomena didn’t love him enough. The sad and mussing thoughts of Philomena quickly vanished when he remembered it had been a great night and day. The train came into the station and Phillip got up to leave, it was then that he released that he was actually a little unsteady on his feet. He grabbed the bar by the opening doors and slowly got off the train. He went out the entrance and there he was a sixty-nine year old man who should now know better than to drink too much. Phillip was not looking forward to the long walk home from the station. His first thought was ring for a taxi. Phillip took his phone from his pocket and then put it back in again he thought to himself

 “No I’ll walk but first I have to sit down to recharge my batteries”.

Philip decided to take a quick walk over to the park and sit on a bench for a while until he felt a little steadier on his feet. Harrow school playing grounds were a stone’s throw away and he knew there was a park bench and superb view over Harrow. So Phillip just sat down for a while he didn’t feel drunk just a little too jolly.

As Phillip looked over the green he could just about see the outer walls of his old school. He thought back to his last day at the school when everyone tried to cut each other’s tie off or rip the sleeve off someone’s blazer. Phillip was not one of those rich boys; he knew how much these Harrow school uniforms cost. Agnes had said to Phillip that if he didn’t want to keep his uniform t then she would mend and alter the uniform so that it looked almost as good as new and then take it all down to the charity shop. There were many parents who were grateful to Agnes and many other mothers at the school for their efforts. The local charity shop saved some parents a lot of money. Not everyone at Harrow was rich.

When Phillip thought about money and privilege his thoughts always turned to Philomena. She was to many the archetypical “Rich Bitch” but to Phillip she was, is and always will be beautiful. Philomena was Phillip’s one and only, first and last love. Phillip never lost Philomena because he never had her because he never had her Phillip wasn’t better about Philomena he just knew from the first moment they met that he could never have her. Phillip was feeling warm and relaxed, so he took out one of his cigars lit it and he started to cast his mind back to his halcyon days at Oxford

Oxford University wasn’t so different from Harrow. There were rules and regulations and traditions to be followed and always adhered to, for threat of being “Sent Down” In other places of learning this translated to “Being Kicked Out” or expelled. There was one difference that Phillip noticed from Day One at Oxford University there were women and there appeared to be lots of them

This was still the 1960´s so the men still outnumbered the women but there were several who had applied for and been accepted to read Classics.

 If the truth were to be known outside the hollowed walls of Oxford and Cambridge many students opted for a Classics degree because they had the notion that they would without question or very hard work get an Oxford degree. There were very few students who survived their three years at Oxford that didn’t leave the university without a Honours high or low

The title Classics was at that time a generic term meaning nothing specific after all, when does a classic become a classic? This is a question posed by and discussed by Scholars and many Used car salesmen. This was ideal degree course for Post war and ever more independent British women. Oxford was still a world famous elite university and an Ox/Bridge degree still opened many doors.

There were still women “Coming Out” parties but this celebration had a very different meaning in1968. These were still the days when men didn’t mind being referred to as Gay Bachelors. The finishing schools were still busy, expanding and more successful than ever. Moreover the secretarial schools were turning people away because there were too few places and so many applicants.

It was still the case in the 1960´s that three long years at University was not an appealing choice for women of a certain class or rank. The women who did opt to take the academic route were in Phillip’s opinion loud,   rebellious and too fond of their own voices. These free thinking articulate modern women made Phillip a   nervous. He hadn’t known that many women; there was his mother, the matron a couple of nurses and the young girls who worked in the shops. These women always gave him a smile and would pass the time of day.

Phillip’s mother Agnes had taken him down to C&A to buy him some modern clothes. He walked out of the shop the proud owner of two new modern shirts a Jacket also two pairs of trousers Agnes also spied and secretly bought two polo neck sweaters. If James bond could look good in polo neck then Phillip was also going to look good.  He was going to buy a pair of blue jeans but he didn’t feel comfortable in them. They were too tight, the waist was too low and the bottoms were wide. His mother took the badge off his school blazer and assured him that he could still wear it as a jacket for formal occasions.

Agnes didn’t take her son to Oxford; he was a grown man now and didn’t need his mother following him everywhere. Phillip took two suitcases and a backpack filled with required reading and he took the bus from Victoria Coach Station. He then took a local bus to his college at the main entrance he gave his name to a well dressed man who was standing behind some glass. The man smiled and then said

“Welcome to Oxford Mr. Bedford. My name is Frederick Lambert, some call me Old Fred but not to my face or in my immediate hearing. Some of the staff calls me Mr. Lambert but you as a scholar studying at this University are allowed to call me Frederick. I’ll ring the bell and one of my assistants will show you to your rooms. You are sharing with a very nice gentleman who I’ve only had the pleasure of making acquaintance with for one year. It’s a Mr. Roberts”

Mr. Lambert came out of his box and let Phillip in through the main door and as he did so, a slightly less well dressed man appeared from out of the shadows Mr. Lambert spoke again

“This is one of my colleagues Cyril. Cyril this is Mr. Bedford, he is sharing rooms with Mr. Roberts. Please take his bags and show him up to the rooms. I’ll be up shortly Mr. Bedford, with all your keys, please Mr. Bedford do not give Cyril any recompense or tip as they say in London. He is only doing what we pay him to do. If you wish to reward All the Staff then we do have a Christmas box located in The Reading Room I’ll be up shortly”  

Cyril’s face darkened as he took Phillip’s luggage and then he climbed the stairs followed by Phillip. Cyril knocked on the door and waited for Mr. Roberts to open the door. All members of staff had pass keys but the protocol was always to wait and be invited in. Mr. Roberts half opened the door and asked Cyril what he wanted.

“This is Mr. Bedford sir, your roommate I’m just showing him in and giving him the keys”

 Mr. Roberts interrupted Cyril to say

“No it’s not convenient today I would have much rather have interviewed my new tenant yesterday or tomorrow, today is not good for me. Tell Mr. Bedford to come back tomorrow.”

Mr. Roberts then tried to close the door but he was hindered by the corner of Phillip’s trunk. Cyril although annoyed tried his best to be diplomatic as he said.

“Mr. Roberts, you are not Mr.Bedford’s landlord you are his roommate and as such he is moving into his rooms that he has paid for in advance. Please let me in or I will summon some help and if I do so then a written report will be sent to the Chancellors Office”

Mr. Roberts sighed as he said  

“Oh, very well. You had better come in Bedford but just you, there’s not that much room here. Bring in your stuff and say good bye to Cyril I’m taking my money back from The Christmas Box”

Mr. Roberts opened the door just wide enough for Phillip to get his luggage through. Cyril was trying to peer a little more inside the room. As Cyril tried to get closer Mr. Roberts said to him

“That will be all Cyril, thank you we can take it from here. Good day to you”

Cyril tried one more time to get a closer look inside the room but his view was hindered by Mr. Roberts’s body as he stood directly in front of him. Phillip came in and they closed the door. Phillip looked around the room, there seemed to be plenty of space. He looked over at the two beds, they had both been slept in and it appeared that one of the beds was still occupied.  He turned to his new roommate and was about to speak, when a large finger was pressed over his lips. Mr. Roberts then crept over to the door and opened it wide. Cyril then having lost his balance fell into the room He was hastily picked up off the ground and marched out into the corridor. Mr. Roberts feigned anger and shock as he spoke to Cyril

“How dare you eavesdrop on or spy on perfectly innocent, honest gentlemen who just wish to get to know each other. I hope that you are not making some lewd assumptions apropos me or my new roommate. Be off with you my man before I report you I’ve never been so insulted. You may in fact be hearing from my family solicitor.”

Cyril was embarrassed but he tried to keep his composure

“I’ll be downstairs doing my duties Sir and you won’t get away with it forever I’ll catch you one day and you’ll be for it. No guests after 10 o’clock and women visitors should be signed in and out. As for The Christmas box, Mr. Lambert empties it every evening because he doesn’t trust you students. Good day to you Sir.”

Mr. Roberts closed his door with a big smile on his face and as he did so a half naked girl leapt up from his bed. She ran over to Phillip and kissed him smack on the lips and when there was no reaction she did it again and again. Phillip couldn’t count how many times this strange woman kissed him and she only stopped when Mr. Roberts interrupted her

“Alright Philomena that’s enough, welcome kisses, for our guest. Don’t mind Philly she’s the local bike”

Philomena turned around and punched Mr. Roberts in the stomach and he reeled over in pain. She then started to hammer blows onto his back as she said

“You beast! That’s a horrible thing to say. I’m not a bike how dare you?”

Mr. Roberts then pleaded with Phillip

“Get her off me Old man before she does me a mischief “

Phillip then remembered what Matron use to do if a boy had an attack of some sort. He crouched down stroked Philomena’s back and spoke softly to the now hysterically angry Philomena.

“There, there now, my sweet, Calm down. Let’s share happy thoughts together. There, there and there, there. It’ll be alright. It’ll be alright”

Then Matron would hold the boy and rock slowly forwards and backwards. As he did this to Philomena she stopped hitting Mr. Roberts she turned her face to Phillip, laughed and said

“I’m not a bloody retard I’m just pissed off”

She smiled and said

“But you are so very sweet. Don’t stop”

She then she turned her and kissed Phillip on the cheek. Philomena then jumped off Mr. Roberts and turned her back to both men to got fully dressed. As she did so Philomena introduced herself again to Phillip.

“I’m Philomena D’Arcy I’m studying engineering here at Keble College and that nasty Pig is called Benjamin Roberts and he likes to be called Benji. The bike reference should refer to my talent and love, of fixing machines. I have a lucrative sideline that supplements my income. I fix bikes. I’m not a tart.”

This was the first time that Phillip had met a real woman outside his previous cosy environments and he thought that she was incredible. Philomena was pretty, a little brutal but she had so much energy and personality. Phillip hoped that all women in Oxford were like Philomena. Benji got up off the floor and offered Phillip five pounds a week, every week to move somewhere else, even six pounds ten shillings was not enough. Phillip was staying and the three of them would have to become acquainted

Benji wasn’t a lord as such but his brother was, he was simply described as an honourable. Both he and Philomena scoffed at that description of himself. Phillip didn’t know either of them well enough to make a judgment.  Philomena just came from Old Money and Old Money if taken care off can be converted into new money and Philomena’s family was very rich. Her father paid for her tuition and her upkeep at Oxford but he didn’t want his daughter to become an engineer, engineering was for men. Philomena’s family lived in the hope that Philomena would get bored or fail the course and have to come home again. There were many eligible wealthy bachelors, young and old that Philomena could be married off to.

Benji and Philomena explained to Phillip that they had to try and sneak Philomena out of the building without her being spotted. They had done this before, but today Cyril would be on a special look out. Cyril had his suspicions before but they had always got away with it. Philomena and Benji were both in their second years at Oxford with Benji having to re-sit his first year again due to illness. Philomena explained

“Huh!  Illness! The lazy bugger was just hung-over. Some people just don’t know how to work and play”

Benji and Philomena elicited help from their new comrade. Phillip wasn’t much of a plan maker. He never got into trouble at school so he never had to devise any methods of avoiding being caught. Benji on the other hand was a man who always had a plan. They asked Phillip to go down to the Box and ask Cyril to come up and help him open the bedroom window. The buildings were old and things were always getting stuck or jammed. In the meantime while Phillip and Cyril came up the front of building staircase Philomena and Phillip would climb down the back staircase to the garden. Philomena would then run around to the front of the building and ring the bell for attention. This would mean Cyril having to come down the stairs again. Frederick Lambert was the senior Gatekeeper and he very seldom came out of his office to answer the door bell that was Cyril’s job. When Benji heard the bell he would run back up the stairs come into their room and open the offending window. Cyril would go down stairs ring up to announce Philomena and then one of them would go down to collect her. This seemed like a good plan to Phillip but there was only one thing that troubled him

“Will that not mean that Philomena is back where she started from?”

Asked a slightly puzzled, Phillip. Benji answered his new roommate and tried not to sound patronising which was difficult for him. But Philomena’s sharp look and body language enabled him to be polite and understanding

“Yes Phillip Philomena will be back where she started but she will be in our room legitimately. Do you see?”

Phillip didn’t see but he politely nodded his head and agreed to take part in the operation. The whole maneuver went as planned and Philomena ended up back in the room again and Cyril knocked once more on the door to fix the window. He was informed to his delight that the window was fully functioning again

Phillips University years were fun and exciting and he made many friends, men and women. One of the first things he wanted to do was dress in a way that he wouldn’t look out of place. He wanted to be able to fit in as a student at Oxford.  Philomena gave her new obviously, innocent friend some sartorial advice

“Just dress how you want to. No one cares although; if I were you I would ditch the old School blazer. I know in my brother’s old school, they had a ritual bonfire and very member of The Upper sixth threw their blazers onto the pyre. I thought at the time that it was such a criminal waste. I’m sure that some of the local secondary school children could have made good use of a used public school blazer. After all they didn’t buy them from C&A”

Philomena, Benji and Phillip became a team, they went everywhere together. They knew nothing about each other but at the same time they knew everything about each other. Benji was the spoiled extremely rich second son No power, no influence, no responsibility, just wealth. Philomena was born into money, she knew no other life. At school she had many friends but none of them wanted to or felt they needed to come to Oxford. Phillip was their mystery man. He wasn’t rich but he wasn’t a struggling student. Phillip was a man with no lineage, a real man of mystery he just had a devoted mother and a father who died for his country.

They drank in every bar in Oxford from the traditional to the ever so trendy. The trendy had a sales policy that did not always satisfy their more discerning customers. These bars sold wine, spirits and beer by the glass. They didn’t worry about weights and measures they just had three different glasses. This method of distribution did not appeal to any student studying law or indeed to Phillip and his small but growing crew of wandering drinkers. The solution to this clear breach of their human rights to get drunk at a reasonable price was to bring their own glasses. Philomena always carried a rucksack and three plastic pint glasses didn’t take up too much space. From his old University days until today Phillip always insisted on a full pint. The bars were not very happy at first to accept customers bringing their own glasses but the thought of losing customers left them open to persuasion.

In his three years at Oxford Phillip made many friends   Phillip always treated all of his friends in exactly the same way. They would go out, they would get drunk. Sometimes they would sleep together because mates could do that. He would come back from a pub or a concert he would sit next to a mate watching a film and they would both fall asleep together. If it was cold he would grab a blanket or the two of them would snuggle up in bed together all warm and cosy to see a film. Phillip disappointed so many women and men who mistook his friendship for anything more than it actually it was.

Philomena realised the kind of man or big boy Phillip was on their first date. In Phillip’s mind it was just two mates meeting up Phillip and she got drunk and then they wandered the streets of Oxford. Philomena took Phillip down to a quiet place by the river Thames. It was quiet and secluded.  It wasn’t too dark or cold and the water was calm. Philomena said to Phillip

“Let’s go for a swim. There’s nobody around and the water looks lovely”

Phillip smiled and said

“But we don’t have a costume “

Philomena just laughed and said

“Come on in Silly I don’t mind getting starkers if you don’t”

Phillip nodded and said

“OK”

They then both got undressed and ran into the water. Philip thought that this was such fun. He hadn’t been swimming like this since his friend Michaels left Harrow. They splashed around and laughed Philomena took Phillip into her arms and tried to kiss him. He smiled and tweaked her nose he then picked her up and threw her into the water. They couldn’t stay in the water forever, it was late at night but even at that hour boats sailed the Thames. There was a chance that if they stayed too long then they could soon be discovered. Young Philomena for all her rebellious ways did not want to get into any real trouble.

After several more unsuccessful attempts to seduce Phillip, Philomena gave up and accepted that they would just be friends. However there was one winter’s evening when the two of them were snuggled up in Philomena’s bed watching a film. She asked Phillip why he didn’t fancy her and what was the matter with her?

“Phillip. Why don’t you fancy me? I don’t think that I’m ugly. I mean I know that a lot of men like me so I don’t understand why you don’t”

Phillip sat up and he was genuinely surprised

“Of course I like you Philomena. You’re one of my best mates. You’re gorgeous, funny and great company I love being with you. You must know or have realised that I do actually love you”

Philomena wasn’t satisfied with Phillip’s answer

“But I want to have sex with you. It’s 1969 I’m on the pill. It’ll be fine. We could just do it and get it over with and then be friends again. You make me so frustrated. I want you I’ve wanted you for such a long time and I kept trying to tell you or give you a hint without being too obvious but you just don’t want me. I need to know why?”

Phillip tried to answer Philomena

“I’m sorry I didn’t realise”

Philomena spoke again

“You didn’t realise. You must be the only person in England who hasn’t realised. Someone even raised it as a question in The House of Commons. How can you be so thick or blind?”

Phillip smiled at the prospect of a bunch of MP’s discussing Philomena’s sex life but he did feel obliged to answer Philomena.

“I love you Philomena and I like you, which is important I have liked and loved you since the moment you popped up half naked out of my bed”

Philomena’s face grimaced for a moment and Phillip continued

“No, no I’m not trying to let you let you down gently. I do fancy you but that’s irrelevant”

Philomena opened her mouth to talk

“No let me finish. Please! I’m not going to sleep with; well you know what I mean. I’m not going to have sex with a girl until we are married. This is how I was raised by my mum and the Chaplin at Harrow also agreed with me Sex is only for the marriage bed. If you want to marry me then after we have taken our vows and are on our honeymoon or wherever then we can have sex. Do you want to marry me?”

Philomena declined Phillip’s kind proposal and they carried on watching the film. They stayed mates for the rest of Phillip’s stay at Oxford and remained friends for some years after.

They never lost contact; Philomena would always send Phillip funny postcards from where ever she was Philomena wrote and told Phillip when she got married and then the letters where rationed to birthdays and Christmas. Philomena would sing every card or letter

“Always Love me

 Phil xxx “

Phillip would always smile when he read that He himself would sign his cards

“Love Always

Phil xxx “

There was a sadness that Phillip never let consume his life. This was his eternal love for Philomena. Phillip always consoled himself by saying to himself sometimes when he felt sad about Philomena

“I never really lost Philomena because I never really had Philomena”

Phillips one true love was married and then divorced and then married again then separated Phillip didn’t know Philomena’s marital status at the moment but after so many years he didn’t really care enough to write and find out. The Honourable Benji was now Benjamin Roberts The member of Parliament for the constituency that covered most of his father’s land. Benji didn’t like writing at University and now that he was a sitting MP he never put pen to paper. He didn’t even send his own texts anymore, that was a job for his secretary.

Eleven

This trip down memory lane must have taken about an hour and now Phillip felt strong and nimble enough to make the journey home. Phillip stood up and left his old stomping ground and started to walk. The first thing he saw as he approached the first house on the road was a magnificent plumb tree in full bloom.

This tree was positively dripping with fruit. At first he was overwhelmed by the splendor of the tree. The thought then crossed his mind that the owner should have already started picking the fruit before the tree became overburdened with plumbs. Phillip knew that by this time tomorrow there would be squashed decaying plums littering the street. It was none of Phillips business it wasn’t his tree or his street. He walked up to the tree and plucked a couple of plumbs to eat on his way home. If he had taken a carrier bag with him then he would have taken some back for his mother, so the two choice plumbs that he had seen were enough for Phillip’s needs.

As Phillip plucked his second plumb he was startled by a silent but flashing blue light. He hadn’t noticed the police car on the other side of the road. The two policemen got out of the car put on their hats and walked over to Phillip. When they reached Phillip one of the policemen said

“Good evening Squire. We saw you come coming out from the School playing grounds. Did you find what you were looking for?”

Phillip in all honesty did know what the policeman was talking about as he tried to answer the very young policeman’s question

“I don’t know what you mean I wasn’t looking for anything I just sat down on the bench for a rest and now I’m on my way home”

The other policeman then asked a question

“Going home to the wife sir?”

Phillip answered him

“No I’m not married, if that’s any of your business. Look! Is there a problem?”

Phillip was starting to feel a little intimidated and at the same time annoyed. He couldn’t understand why two busy policemen should want to take the time to talk to him.

The first policeman spoke again

“It’s a bit late sir for a single man like yourself to be wandering around School playing fields and we did just witnessed you stealing property from that householder garden. We don’t want any fuss do we squire?  So we’d like you to come down to the station with us for questioning. There have been a few unsavory incidents witnessed here of late I think that you could help us with our enquiries. So let’s be having you. In you go sir”

Phillip still didn’t know what the young policeman was talking about and he protested

“I’m not going anywhere with you I’m sure that I have my rights and I’m exercising my right to go home to my eighty nine year old mother”

The two policemen murmured almost at the same time

“Single! Lives with his mum”

The first policeman spoke again

“We don’t want any trouble please get in the car or we will use reasonable force”

Phillip crossed over the road with the two policemen and got into the back of their car. Once in the car he was handcuffed to the iron rod that was welded to the door. It wasn’t a long drive to South Harrow Police station but it seemed like an age for Phillip Bedford. He was nervous and very confused Phillip had walked that way home so many times before and he had sat on that same bench to clear his head. Phillip couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he had done wrong.

The police car stopped for a moment while the gates opened and then they parked the car and escorted Phillip into the police station. They went up the back steps and into the custody suite. By this time they had removed Phillip’s handcuffs but the two policemen stood very close to him and with the back gates closed, there was nowhere to run even if Phillip had a mind to. 

They entered the back of the building and walked past the custody cells to be booked in by The Custody Sergeant.  Sergeant Stoner’s face was emotionless as he reached down to press a button to let all three men out from the cell area and into his custody suite. The Sergeant addressed the two constables and said

“What have we got her then Lads?”

One of them answered

“The usual Sergeant, you know! Down by the School Playing Grounds”

Sergeant Stoner didn’t really care what people did. His job was just to book them in and if necessary lock them up. He wasn’t a man who fought crime or solved cases. He was just an old policeman in a modern Police Force biding his time and staying out of harm’s way until he could retire. But according to police procedure he had to ask

“Has this gentleman been charged with any offence or cautioned? What do I write in The Custody Book? “

The other policeman answered this time

“No Sarge he hasn’t been formally charged with any offence or cautioned. At this moment this gentleman is A man of Special Interest and is helping us with our enquires.  We’ll just take him through to an interview room and get back to you if we want to file any charges. Could you just take his details and search him please? We don’t want to take any chances”

Sergeant Stoner did as the men asked. He asked Phillip to take off his tie and remove his shoe laces. He then asked for Phillip’s belt and then patted him down lightly. To the experienced Sergeant, Phillip did not pose a threat. He then took down all Phillips preliminary details before releasing Phillip back into the charge of the two constables They now had his name, his address, age and marital status, single.

Phillip was led into the main building and taken into an Interview Room. A chair was pulled out and a hand gesture gave Phillip the signal to sit down. The two policemen just stood there and silently stared at Phillip. Eventually one of them spoke

“I’m Constable Jolly, yes Jolly and this is my colleague Constable Lomax. You are not here under caution you are here just to help us with our enquiries and perhaps sort a few things out for us.”

Philip opened his mouth to speak and before he could Constable Lomax stopped him

“Not now Phil Just wait until we’re finished and then we will tell you when you can speak. Alright?”

Constable Jolly carried on speaking.

“You see Phil, we know your sort. In many ways we are on your side. These kids aren’t victims most of them are perpetrators. An old geezer like you is maybe not so popular in the clubs anymore. What else are you going to do? You’ve got the extra cash and they want it. I’m not homophobic. I’m a live and let live man aren’t I Lo?

Constable Lomax nodded and said

“Yes that’s God’s honest truth and No mistake”

Phillip was still confused he didn’t know what they were talking about. He tried to speak again and Lomax said

“No Phil, stumb now. You don’t want to make Mr. Jolly angry. He’s hard to control when he’s angry. Just listen and when we’re finished we can prepare a statement together and you can sign it. You know it makes sense”

None of this made any sense to Phil. He was in a room with two clowns dressed in police uniforms.

Lomax looked at Jolly he nodded and then cast his eyes over to the door.  Jolly nodded and both men went towards the door. As they left Jolly said to Phillip

“We’ll be back in a minute or two. There are a couple boys I need to phone and then, we can come back and finish our little chat.”

Outside in the corridor the two policemen discussed the situation Lomax asked Jolly

“What’s the game plan here? I thought we were just going to frighten the old poof and then send him on his way”

“Yes “

Said Jolly and then continued

“I want to put the fear of God in him. There’s too many of these old gits hanging around our parks at night. We’ve got the Prostitutes down at Wembley and Pinner and these old perverts down our way. It’s getting hard to walk the streets or have a stroll in the park at night without being approached by someone unsavory. If we scare the shit out of him then he’ll tell his mates. He’ll be on snap chat and WhatsApp as soon as he gets home. We’ll go in there and offer him an easy way out and I know he’ll rather take that than get arrested. Just follow my lead in there.”

The two men went back into the room and by this time Phillip had composed himself a little and this gave him the ability to be a little more assertive. He still didn’t have a clue to what the two men were talking about. Phillip just knew that there had been a mistake made somewhere and he just wanted to go home. Constable Jolly stood behind Phillip and Constable Lomax sat directly over from Phillip. Jolly opened his mouth to talk but this time Phillip stopped him by saying.   

“I want to see a solicitor now, right now. I haven’t been allowed to speak and I still don’t know why I’m here. As you yourself have said I’m not under caution I haven’t been arrested or charged I want to see a solicitor”

Constable Jolly smiled and then lent down to speak in Phillip’s ear

“We haven’t charged you yet Phil because we want you to come clean, unofficially and this way you can confess all your sins and we can absolve you. You tell us about the boys who they are and how you make contact with them and we’ll do the rest. You want to save these boys don’t you? If you come clean with us tonight, confess everything and write it all down, unofficially. I can promise you that tomorrow we’ll get the inspector to give you just a Police caution. You will have no criminal record and clear conscience”

Constable Lomax also added a suggestion

“You see Phil, when you make this job more difficult for us then we get annoyed. If we get annoyed Phil then it should be obvious to you that we don’t feel like going easy on people. I know you’re’ not a criminal, you’re just a man with needs. We don’t want you as such; we want the Big Boy’s The Ring Leaders. You were not hanging around that boy’s playing field by accident. We know that vulnerable lonely men like you have been lured into this vile ring. Tomorrow morning, with your permission we would like to come around to your mum’s house and have a quick look around. We want to borrow your computer for a day and things for you can go back to normal again. We just need you to sign a consent form. I can go and get one now if you don’t sign it then that’ll mean me going to the trouble of getting a search warrant. You shouldn’t forget what I said earlier. If you make life hard for us then we can make life very hard for you” 

Constable Jolly put his hand on Phillips shoulder and said

“You know it makes sense Phil I mean importuning in a public area and theft. You don’t want that on your record”

The penny finally dropped for Phillip. These men thought that he was hanging around his old school Sports Ground because he was looking for sex. Phillip wasn’t angry or even offended. In Phillip’s world, if you’ve done nothing wrong then you never have to say sorry. You should never lie because this would mean that you would never have to remember. A thought did however cross his mind; he wondered how two such stupid people could be ever be employed in the English police force. Phillip’s voice was surprisingly calm as he asked once again for legal representation. He then sat on the chair and silently waited for a response from the two constables or a solicitor.

Both Lomax and Jolly tried to talk to Phillip but he just sat there said nothing and waited

Constable Jolly tried again

“If you don’t let us help you Phil, then it’s the magistrates in the morning and no turning back”

Phillip just smiled and said very slowly

“Ego ibo tolle tolle quod forte”

Constable Jolly’s face was a picture of puzzlement. Phillip said it again in English

“I’ll take that chance”

There was a knock on the door and another policeman informed everyone in the room that The Duty Solicitor was asking to see his client. Constables Jolly and Lomax nodded and left the room. As they left the duty solicitor came in and sat down opposite Phillip. After all formal introductions were completed Phillip told Mr. Fisher his story from where he assumed was the very beginning.

Constables Jolly and Lomax had a slightly different version of events to Phillip’s but the inspector who read both versions of the events that took place decided that his two very enthusiastic constables had misread a very innocent situation. Phillip Bedford was not known to Harrow police he had no outstanding warrants of criminal record. He was clearly just an innocent man taking a few moments rest before walking home as he claimed.

Phillip had by this time spent the entire night at the police station.  He was offered a bed in the cell which given the late hour and his age he gratefully accepted the custody sergeants kind offer. After a cooked breakfast Phillip phoned his mother and was duly offered a lift home by a very embarrassed inspector. The inspector assured Phillip that the two police officers would be dealt with by a senior training officer He also assured Phillip that a letter of apology was at this moment being written to Phillip by both constables.

A further letter of apology was at this moment being drafted by the area chief Superintendent. The inspector hoped that given no harm was actually done that Phillip. The inspector also hoped that Phillip and The Harrow police station could draw a line under the whole incident and let bygones be bygones. Phillip agreed he actually just wanted to forget the whole unpleasant evening. The inspector was relieved and thanked Phillip as the car stopped outside Phillips home. The inspector then took off his seat belt and reached into his jacket pocket and said

“I’m glad that this is all over and that you don’t seem to have come to any harm and God willing there will be no lingering memory side effects. You seem like a well adjusted fit and healthy man. I feel obliged to inform you that there is a criminal complaints procedure, if you feel obliged to take this matter any further”

Phillip opened the car door and said

“Thank you for the lift inspector I’ll wish you a good day and good bye”

Eleven

Phillip went into the house without looking back. The inspector just drove away. Agnes was in the front room watching television and drinking some cold tea. She heard the front door open and she paused her television viewing for a moment before saying

“Is everything aright Phillip?”

Phillip entered the room before saying

“Yes Mum, things are fine. It was just a misunderstanding that I know will never happen again. Why aren’t you in bed? It’s late or rather very early”

Agnes smiled, as she nearly always did, when she spoke to Phillip

“I just had a restless night and I didn’t hear you come in. So I just got up and came downstairs, made myself a cup of tea and put on The Google Box. I don’t know what I’ve been watching I keep dosing off. I did wake up again just in time for Midsomer Murders. It’s an early one with John Nettles; it’s the theme music that always wakes me up”

Phillip smiled and went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his mother looking directly at the screen with full concentration. She wasn’t going to fall asleep this time. Phillip made his mum a fresh cup of tea as well and took it into her. Agnes was almost too engrossed to notice her son’s gesture but she did look away just for a moment to say thank you.

Phillip sat there on a high stool in the kitchen contemplating the night before. He knew that nothing that had happened last night was his fault. But one thing was certainly true, he was single, he had never been married. He thought to himself that at least his mother had been married even though it wasn’t for long. It wasn’t so unusual for a soldier’s widow to remain a widow. There were also many women who remained unmarried because they didn’t want to endanger their pension entitlements. There were others who were so much in love with their dead partners that they could never dream of marrying again. Phillip assumed that his mother belonged to that category although Agnes never spoke about his father.

As for not being married himself, Phillip knew a lot of men down different pubs who were there every night because they had no one to go home to. There were married, separated and then divorced. After a few pints they would tell their stories of bitch ex-wives and of the ungrateful children that they seldom saw.

Agnes died of a heart attack six days later. Her death was sudden and mercifully quick. One moment Agnes was alive and in the kitchen humming and singing loudly to an old tune on Desert Island discs and the next moment Agnes collapsed and died. An ambulance was called to the house and the paramedics pronounced her dead at the scene and the doctor confirmed their diagnosis at the hospital.

The funeral was a small quiet affair Agnes didn’t know that many people. She and Philip had always kept themselves to themselves. Some of Philip’s now very old school friends did attend because they had known Agnes almost as long as Philip had known her. The neighbours from both sides attended the short service and everyone was invited back to the Bedford residence for tea, sandwiches and other beverages. There no speeches or long homilies it was just a quiet affair and after a couple of hours the assembled guests made their apologies and excuses and left Philip to clear up. There wasn’t a lot of mess just a lot of paper plates and disposable glasses that Agnes had herself ordered for such an occasion. Philip carefully some glasses into the dishwasher alongside some sundry dishes and cups and turned on the machine. The paper table clothes were easily dealt with and the furniture was again rearranged to where it was before the party. Philip was now alone all alone in the world he picked up a framed photo of his mother he kissed her on the forward and then put the photo back to where it belonged. Philip felt that he should cry but he then thought to himself

“Why cry at the inevitable?”

He knew that this day would come; he hadn’t prepared for it. He didn’t hope for it, he just knew that it was going to happen, one day and that was the day.

He closed the kitchen door to drown out the hum from the dishwasher and he turned on his television. There was an old episode Bergerac on the telly and he liked watching the old Crimi’s in the afternoon. He and Agnes use to watch them together. His mum would always doze off as soon as they began. So watching television in silence was not a new experience for Philip. The timing of the program and the wash cycle of the dishwasher were almost in synchronization. As the final credits rolled off the screen the evidence that any party had taken place was washed, dried and put away. Phillip knew where everything should go because his mother had told him and showed him a thousand times and if a system works then don’t try to fix it.

 Phillips looked into his Garden from the kitchen window. There was light glowing from the garden but it wasn’t from the sun. The evenings were drawing quickly in and the light from the sun had been replaced by the light being radiated from the Solar cell paving stones that Phillip had laid the year before.  When Phillip came into the living room again he noticed that there was a message on his phone. It was from Philomena it said

“Sorry about your mum Phillip I’d like to have been there but I was on a plane coming back from St Kitts. My dad’s company has some money invested over there. I’m on my own again too now, it’s a bummer. Give me a ring sometime and we can catch up Love Philomena xxx”

Phillip wasted no time. He rang Philomena. She answered straight away and they both eagerly wanted to see each other as soon as possible. Philomena asked Phillip to confirm his full address and almost immediately after he had sent the message, his phoned received one back. His entire screen was filled with smileys and kisses and then a message

“See you “

Half an hour later the doorbell chimed and Phillip went to answer his door. He was shocked but not entirely surprised to see Philomena standing there and smiling at him. It was the same smile he remembered from that first day at Oxford.  She had two suitcases with her  Phillip took both suitcases up and carried them in backwards and as he did so Philomena took advantage of the situation and kissed Phillip full on the mouth and then again and again and again. She only stopped when Philip backed away. He wasn’t use to being kissed and certainly not with such ferocity. He dropped both cases Philomena smiled and then laughed a little and said

“You haven’t changed a bit. You…..”

Philomena then burst into tears and ran into Phillips arms

“Hold me Phillip, please hold me”

Phillip always did what Philomena told him to, so he held her. But he also held her close to him because he knew that, right now, she needed him. Whatever the reason Phillip was happy to hold Philomena close to him again. A few moments was all it took for Philomena to calm down enough to talk to Phillip. She had always been a tough hardy girl.

“Mum died ten years ago in October”

Phillip was about to give his condolences

“No stop let me finish I used to say to my husband. No don’t stop yet, let me finish”

Philomena started to pant, scream and feign an orgasm. She then laughed out loud and continued speaking

“After mum croaked Dad went a bit doolally. After the funeral he locked himself up in the main bedroom and surrounded himself with all her clothes and belongings. He was in there for days. Our man, Hargreaves eventually called the doctor because it was just him and Dad in the house. He told me that one evening Dad dressed up in one of mum’s dresses and he put on all her jewelry and just stood there in front of the mirror looking at himself and giving compliments to his reflection. Dad heard Hargreaves run down the stairs and quickly got back into his own clothes. Hargreaves telephoned me because he couldn’t find my brother. That was so typical of Hargreaves and his like. You only ask to the woman for assistance when you can’t find any other man to help. My brother Hilary was on a bender somewhere. He wasn’t that hard to find or contact. He just couldn’t be arsed. I spoke to the doctor and employed a full time nurse and I started to visit my dad once a week.”

Phillip interrupted Philomena for a moment

“Do you want a cup of tea?”

Philomena nodded then smiled and then started to kiss Phillip again, just like before. Phillip just had to say between pauses

“Stop I’ll make us some tea and we can sit down”

Being so close to Phillip Philomena could clearly smell the beer on Phillip’s breath and she said

“You’re holding out on me. Give me a beer you bastard”

Phillip had received more polite requests for a beer but he went to his fridge and got Philomena a beer. He opened the can a reached up to the cupboard to get Philomena a glass

“No this is fine “

Said Philomena as she snatched the can from Phillip sat down in the kitchen and carried on telling her story. Philomena explained that the family doctor had prescribed for father some tranquilisers to calm him down.  These pills did calm our father down but this new tranquil Mr. D’Arcy could not cope anymore as a business executive and he still owned most of the firm. Because of her father’s temporary inability to function as a member of the board Hilary was asked to take his place in Dad’s temporary absence. Hilary agreed, no one bothered asking dad. Dad’s right of attorney has not been taken away; it has just been temporarily suspended.

Phillip gave Philomena another beer because the first one went down very quickly and asked.

“Philomena Why are you here? Don’t misunderstand me. It’s so good to see you. Do you need my help? How can I help? Or did you just want to kiss me again after all these years?”

Philomena took a swig from the can and said

“Let me finish and Oh by the way, can I stay here with you tonight, just like old times? I’ve got nowhere else to go”

Philomena thought for a moment and said

“I could have put that better. But please let me finish”

Phillip poured himself out a cup of tea and then let Philomena get on with her story

“The Board ran rings, around Hillary. They appointed him Chief executive and then told him to relax and the board would run the company. Hilary was only too pleased to sit behind a desk all day drinking expensive brandy and smoking cigars. He could go in when he wanted to and home when he wanted. A lunch break was as long as it took him to finish his meal, his drink or his occasional meeting with an employee who also happened to work for an escort and entertainment company. As long as Hilary signed a chit he could do     anything”

Philomena slammed her can down on the table and said

“Bastards! Sorry did I mark the table?”

Phillip just shook his head and let Philomena carry on. Her story wasn’t very complicated. In fact Phillip had heard parallel stories in his years at the bank. The board was unscrupulous they took the D’Arcy Company for everything they could before the company collapsed. The year before Philomena’s mother’s death her father started negotiations with Global Oil. This was bid to try and save what was left of the company and its assets. D’Arcy Oil still owned the rights to drill for oil and gas in some obscure locations. Some of these drilling rights were acquired by Great grandfather D’Arcy. Global Oil didn’t need a small British based oil company but they were willing to buy the company keep it intact including the Company name if Philomena’s dad would relinquish and sign over all future oil drilling rights.

For D’Arcy Oil and the D’Arcy family this was the perfect deal, everybody was a winner. The board was informed and every member was to keep his post.

They would have to surrender their share options because D’Arcy would no longer be listed separately on the Stock Exchange. No one would actually lose anything they just wouldn’t gain anymore than they already had. Every board member was free to accept the situation as it was or try to join another board on another company. Up until the 1960’s hoping from one board to another wasn’t that difficult. A man could serve on several boards and request to or be asked to serve on several more. But now those days are gone and a seat on the board of directors of a stock exchange listed company is a coveted prize. The disgruntled board had decided to run D’Arcy Oil Gas and Exploration into the ground and Hilary was the perfect scapegoat for any impropriety.

It was clear that Philly’s father was not up to rescuing his own company and dwindling fortunes but Phillip had made a lot of friends over the years and was still owed many favours by those he had done good deeds for in the past. Phillip wasn’t a man who could easily take advantage of the good will of others but this did seem to be a special case. Phillip excused himself for a few moments and went upstairs to his little study to make a couple of phone calls and send an e-mail. This task didn’t take very long and Phillip was shortly downstairs again finishing a cup of tea with Philomena. Phillip then tried to assure his friend as he said

“It’s going to be ok Philly I’ve made some calls and I know that everyone will get back to me tomorrow I can’t promise you the world or your old life back. But I can assure you that no member of the D’Arcy family will have go down and sign on for unemployment benefit in the morning. I have friends looking into the matter and they will help. The Old Boys network is still alive and scheming.”

Phillip then smiled at Philomena and took two bottles of beer from his fridge

“The glasses are in the front room cabinet. Would you mind getting them?”

Phillip led Philomena into the front room, he placed the bottles on the sofa table and then closed the curtains he then gave Philomena a bottle opener

“You open the bottles Philly and I’ll go and get us a blanket. The Italian Job is on the telly tonight. I remember seeing this with you at The Academy. I asked you to marry me at the interval. You laughed!”

It didn’t take long for Phillip to find to sturdy blankets. It wasn’t a cold night or a cold house Phillip just thought that it would be cosy for him and Philomena to wrap themselves up like they did in the old days watching a film together and Philomena seemed to agree.

Whilst Phillip was out of the room collecting the blankets Philomena had opened bottles with a smile and filled up the two glasses which she set down on the table. Phillip found the remote control and then sat down next her keeping a respectable distance. Philomena took the blanket slid along the sofa and snuggled in close to Phillip. She then took his arm, wrapped it around her shoulders and pulled herself closely up to Phillip. This was not an action that Phillip disapproved of; he pulled her close to him and smiled just like he had done in Oxford. They sat motionless for a few moments and then Philomena gently freed herself to take a sip of beer. Phillip grabbed the remote control and turned on the television. The film brought back so many memories, not just of Oxford but also of England in the 1960’s and how young they both were.

Phillip remembered that that night when he and Philomena had decided to have an evening on their own. Phillip had wanted to propose to Philomena again and Philomena thought that she would finally coax this prim young virgin into her bed. That night they were both disappointed. The film was now in full swing and Philomena snuggled once again up to Phillip, feeling warm, safe and loved. She never wanted to move from this position again. Philomena never wanted to leave Phillip’s arms or side again and Phillip just watched the film totally unaware.

The cars were now racing through the streets of Rome and Philomena reached over to the remote control that was lying an uncomfortable distance away from her on the sofa table. She managed to grab the remote but her struggle did not go unnoticed Phillip asked

“Are you alright there Philly? If you need the loo I can put the film on pause”

Philomena laughed and pressed the pause button, she then took a deep breath and said to Phillip

“Yes I will marry you. If you still want me to”

Philomena had started that statement with such confidence and finished it with diffidence and doubt

Phillip grabbed the control and said

“Let’s watch the end of the film and we can talk about it later”

Philomena’s face darkened and then crumbled and she started to cry. Phillip pressed watch later button and then put his arms around the now loudly weeping Philomena. She pulled away

“Let me go! You bastard! You’re just like all the rest. I’m not staying here a moment longer. Call me a cab” 

Phillip wanted to say

“Yes Yes Yes!”

He had loved Philomena since that moment she jumped up half naked from his bed. He just didn’t want to make love to her until they were married or even engaged to be married. Phillip wasn’t prepared for this kind of reaction from Philomena. He tried to calm her down.

“Yes I’ll marry you I’ve always wanted to marry you. I was joking I don’t need to think about it or discuss it. I just want to marry you I only wish that my mum was still around to celebrate with us. I love you Philomena D’Arcy I always have and I Always will. You are going to change your name to Bedford when we’re married aren’t you?”

Philomena calmed down a little after she heard the word “yes” and by now was listening to every word uttered by Phillip She pinched his nose and wiped her eyes as she said

“Everything is up for negotiation Phillip. Shall we see the rest of the film? And I’m dying for a glass of wine”

Phillip sat down on the sofa again. At first he was a little perplexed but he had always accepted Philomena for who she was. Philomena got up and went into the kitchen she had noticed a bottle of Sauvignon in the fridge. She can back kin with the bottle and two mugs. Philomena filled both mugs with wine and then snuggled up beside Phillip again. She then ordered Phillip to resume the film.

“Right! Let’s see the rest of the film. Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Before Phillip started the film again he said

“Yes Philomena just like we always did. But you are not having my body until there is a ring on your finger”

 She gave him a cuddle and kissed Phillip on the cheek and said

“Alright I’ll be good, now can we see the film?”

Phillip smiled and not just with his face his entire body felt warm and excited. He wanted to cry and he wanted to laugh both at the same time. A simple smile just didn’t seem enough he just pressed play and sat back on his sofa next to the woman he had always loved.

Phillip and Philomena after an intermittent courtship lasting fifty two years were married 29 days later. They became Mr. Bedford and Mrs. D’Arcy Bedford. This was a compromise that Phillip felt that he had to live with. The marriage ceremony and after party were quiet Covid restriction affairs.

Hilary D’Arcy would have wanted a more lavish affair but after his telling off by The Securities and Exchange Commission. Hilary was now behaving himself impeccably. This new well behaved Hilary put a dent in the profits of some local drinking dens and freed up some escort girls diaries. 

Later that evening Phillip and Philomena returned to their home. The little house in harrow was now a shared house again and Phillip Bedford was a married man who woke up every morning next to his beautiful wife. In the local area which included the Sharma’s Mini Mart there was no more speculation about the man who lived alone down the street

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